For over 10 years I was in the depths of mental illness. Every single day. I wanted to die, but becoming a mother saved me.
PTSD and Pregnancy – Ask before you touch my bump
When people put their hands on my stomach without asking, I can go into a state of fear. Ask before you touch my bump. For my sake and the baby’s.
Why is antenatal depression such a taboo subject?
Why is antenatal depression such a taboo subject? This needs to change. There’s support out there and I’m so proud of myself for admitting I needed help.
Mental illness doesn’t stop for Christmas
By Samantha Jones Christmas is meant to be a happy time of year for everyone. However, this is not always possible when you live with a mental illness. Depression cannot differentiate between birthdays, Christmas, or any other day in fact. Depression doesn’t give you a day off just because everyone Continue Reading
Trapped – The war zone of your own mind
By Samantha Jones It is hard to fight constantly, day in day out, when your mind is a war zone. Fighting for the good things in life but the enemy that is mental illness, fights with all its power to keep you trapped. Sometimes you have to surrender and say Continue Reading
Learning to learn again – beating depression
By Samantha Jones Since I finished my level three in Health and Social Care, depression really took its toll. Admissions to psychiatric hospitals went on for longer than I can remember during this five year break from education. I never thought I would get to this place alive, let alone Continue Reading
Sad, not depressed – Why I don’t ‘deserve’ a depression label
By Samantha Jones I am sad, not depressed For a couple of months now I have been feeling low and out of sorts. It’s like there is a black cloud hovering above my head, not allowing me to think straight. This cloud doesn’t allow me to wash, leave the house, Continue Reading
When depression doesn’t make you thankful for anything
By Samantha Jones Happiness is what comes natural to most people. However, when you live with depression it is all too familiar not to get enjoyment out of anything or anyone. The things that used to bring enjoyment, like going out, doing tasks that needed doing around the house and Continue Reading
When daily life feels overbearing
By Samantha Jones Since being a child I have struggled with low self esteem, anxiety and feeling ‘not good enough’. Although it never really became an issue until I reached 14. It developed into an illness at this age due to the physical and sexual abuse I sustained whilst I Continue Reading
How I have learnt to love despite my PTSD
By Samantha Jones PTSD is a very varied condition for everyone. Whether you sustained emotional neglect, a war veteran, a horrific one off trauma or if you were physically and sexually abused, like myself, the symptoms will vary considerably. For me it is the flashbacks of being beaten and raped when Continue Reading
What no one tells you to expect, one year after a suicide attempt…
By Samantha Jones This time last year I was at the bridge ready to jump but suddenly, with no warning, strangers jumped out their car and pulled me back to safety. I hear you ask many questions, why? Where? How could you? But that’s not why I’m writing this, as Continue Reading
My personal story on suicide
By Samantha Jones A poem for people considering suicide… You look and stare So easy to judge You tell your friend With a simple nudge My scars are visible But my story is hid It all began When I was a kid You don’t know why But don’t even ask Continue Reading