My personal story on suicide

By Samantha Jones

A poem for people considering suicide…

You look and stare
So easy to judge
You tell your friend
With a simple nudge

My scars are visible
But my story is hid
It all began
When I was a kid

You don’t know why
But don’t even ask
I’m a survivor
Sheltered by a mask

But I’ll fight the stigma
And break free
No longer hidden
Soon I’ll be me

Many, many times I have said I want to die, nothing more nothing less, however living with Borderline Personality Disorder (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder)  things can quickly change. I’m a survivor and living proof that things do get better. Ok I’m not out of the woods yet as they say but my life has improved significantly more recently than ever.

Last year was one of the most difficult times in my 11 year battle with mental illness; I was in intensive care due to a near fatal overdose, went to the local bridge and had to be pulled down by complete strangers and then my mum and brother found me unconscious due to another suicide attempt.

However this year I am actually starting to live for my future. Okay my self harm scars will always be with me and are still in the healing process but to my family, friends and boyfriend I want to say a massive thank you for literally saving my life! I can never thank you enough for seeing that life IS worth living if only you learn to accept yourself and your worth on this earth!

I have recently been diagnosed with acute anxiety which is horrible but mindfulness is really helping and being prepared for any upcoming events help to be able to get out.

I wrote this poem about two years into my battle with mental illness and have always held it close to my heart, please though… Never give up and never lose hope!

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  1. […] the course of the last three months I have been suicidal, actively planning my route out of this world.  However, something changed and I am now studying […]

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