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0 By Anonymous
So, here’s a blog I never thought I would write. For those who don’t know me I have suffered with spells for depression on and off throughout my life so far (My early 20s). I am writing this because I realised sometimes symptoms don’t always co-inside with popular belief. People deal with situations and periods of low moods very differently and I believe therefore there are gaps in people’s knowledge and understanding, however I can only speak of my own feelings and experiences.
I see many articles which have a lot of focus on those whom seclude themselves from other people when depressed. Whilst I understand this is a common symptom for many people who suffer with mental illness, everyone doesn’t fall under the same umbrella. I want to speak out to those whom suffer with what I call social depression through speaking out with my own personal story. During my lowest periods, though contrary to popular belief, I become less reclusive and more social. This is because I am very co-dependent on relationships and struggle to be alone.
From a very young age, I was forced to grow up too quickly by being exposed to adult themes at such an early age and at the same time I was bullied throughout school. Even before I got into my first serious relationship. At a very young age, I was thrown into an adult world before I was ready. Shortly after I was entrapped in another relationship for 7 years because I feared being alone and then straight into another relationship and have been tied to a relationship all my life.
Similarly, I have so many friends because I focus all my attention on others, this is because I am trying to distract myself from being alone when the darkness consumes me. For example, after a weekend of partying and feeling completely numb for hours. BAM! An overflow of uncontrollable emotion and trying to hold myself together in public. I try to distract myself with other activities I cannot focus on one task for long when I am feeling low, and when I am down, it can take me 3 days to watch a 2-hour movie because I can only focus on a singular task 15 minutes at a time, because I am ruminating too much.
I hope to spread awareness and show that mental illness does not fit a single stereotype and anybody can suffer from mental illness, and that even the person whom appears very social and happy can be trying to overcome their own internal battle.
UNITED STATES
UNITED KINGDOM
