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0 By Kelly Slaney
My mental health isn’t great at the moment. Obviously that’s a bit of an understatement, because those of us who suffer know we generally use daft terms like ‘not great’ to mean, ‘I feel like I’m driving that bus on the movie Speed right now,’ but stay with me.
When your head is a bit of a whirlwind and you feel all out of control, the only thing really left to do is be a bit kind to yourself. Be as kind to yourself as you would to a friend who was having a rough time.
Unfortunately poor mental health will often result in your brain telling you NOT to look after yourself. That you’re not worthy of care, that you don’t deserve it. On this one, I’m going to just have to say we need to overrule that horrid voice in our heads and care for ourselves regardless.
I’ve spent a good few years teetering on the edge of sanity, one foot either side, and in this time I’ve picked up a few tips. Obviously we’re all different and what works for me may sound awful to you, but you might pick up some new ideas so I’ll share anyway!!
Art
Any kind. Those new age colouring books, painting, sewing, whatever helps you focus on the project in hand. Stopping that overthinking for just a little while will help. Small girl and I went pottery painting last week, and we both commented on how relaxing it was.
Bath
Bubble baths are just luxury, aren’t they? Take in a tea? A book? Bribe the kids with extra screen time, so no one bursts in for a wee!! You’ll get out less stressed than you went in!
Children
Join in fully with them. Splashing in puddles, swinging on swings, feeding the ducks. If you do these activities with all the exuberance of a giddy toddler, you’ll find yourself smiling!
Dance
For me, this would take the shape of a Broadway number… my ‘All That Jazz’ is particularly good… but if a bit of a kitchen rave is more your thing, go for it!
Emotions
Confront those tricky things, however you need to: whether it’s a phone call to your bestie, talking over what you’re feeling, or if, like me, you’ve got to write them down. I just always feel better once they’re no longer dominating my brain. They seem less powerful, written down or said out loud, than when they’re whizzing round your head gathering momentum with every passing minute!
Friends
The enemy of mental health wobbles.
The listeners, the people who remind you that your inner ‘mean girl’ voice is just your brain playing tricks. The ones who’ll drag you out or join you under a duvet. They are a huge weapon in our arsenal against that voice telling you you are unloved and uncared for.
Guilt-free
If you’re eating choc for comfort or getting the kids a pizza for dinner or giving yourself 20 quiet minutes, you mustn’t feel guilty, and I know this is way easier said than done. Looking after yourself will make you nicer to be around, though, and make you a little more functional. Give guilt the middle finger!
Heart to Heart
A good, honest talk to someone you trust, about how particularly crappy you are feeling that day, will just take the load off a little. Ease the burden if you can.
I Matter
This goes hand in hand with the guilt thing I guess, but you matter. You need to be well. You are worth care and consideration.
Junk Food
If your appetite has disappeared, as mine tends to during a wobble, then just eat something. If the only something you can even contemplate eating would give Jamie Oliver nightmares, then so be it. One non-nutritious meal isn’t going to break you. You can get back to healthy eating tomorrow when you feel a bit stronger.
Kickass Playlist
I have a kickass playlist for when I have to do scary things. As someone who suffers from hypervigilance, social anxiety and a load of other stuff, well, most things are scary to me. Having to deal with people, making a phone call, a noisy bird squawking in my ear… I’m familiar with feeling nervy and scared BUT once I’ve Taylor, Beyonce and Pink in my earphones, I can psych myself up to what’s ahead.
Laugh
Put the episode of Friends you’ve seen a million times on. Watch some stand-up. Whatever has a chance at raising a giggle is going to make you feel better.
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Music
Again, much like the kickass playlist and the dancing, music can be one of the most therapeutic tools at our disposal, whether that’s belting out Whitney or having a weep to Adele. Music just makes you feel. I don’t know about you, but during a wobble, I can switch to numb mode. Music helps tease me out.
Nookie
Orgasms = endorphins and who doesn’t love themselves some endorphins!!!
Outdoors
I know sometimes in the grip of a mental health wobble you just want to put the duvet over your head and pretend the world doesn’t exist, and if that’s what you have to do to get through the day, go for it! I’m not going to come drag you out to do star jumps in the garden. For me though, a walk somewhere pretty can make such a huge difference to my mood. It doesn’t have to be far. Just fresh air and pretty surroundings are a joy.
Play
Play a game with the kids that takes up all your brain time, so there’s no room for unwelcome thoughts.
Play an instrument.
Play a daft game on your phone.
Whatever distracts you for a little while.
Quiet
Another tricky one to achieve. Whenever I’m very anxious, though, sounds are so much louder. People talking feels like shouting and ordinary noises are unbearable. A lay in the quiet for 10 mins, if at all possible, helps me.
Read
Trashy mag if your concentration is screwed. Old fave comfort book that just makes you feel warm. A funny picture book to the kids. A self-help book. Whatever makes you feel better.
Scribble
As I’ve said, when my brain is too full of thoughts getting a notebook and pen and writing them all down is the best thing I can do to help myself. The instant relief it gives me to get thoughts from my head to paper is just immense. Also means I’ve dozens of notebooks that are the crazed ramblings of an anxious woman, but hey it works!!
Theatre
I can’t go to the theatre and not thoroughly absorb myself in what I’m watching. So that gives the overthinking brain a few hours off duty at least.
Understanding
I think any of us who have suffered with our mental health will know how necessary having people around you who totally understand is. In this day and age, even if that’s some quirky blogger who goes on a bit (*waves*) chatting on social media, it still works as well.
Avoid ignorant ‘pull yourself together’ types.
Vocalise
This is something absolutely out of my comfort zone. However, if you’re struggling in silence it’s so important to tell someone you’re struggling. Even if you believe no one can help you. Just tell one person. It will feel so much better.
Who
Doctor Who…. my go-to thing to watch for comfort or empowerment or even just a therapeutic sob (‘Face the Raven,’ I’m looking at you!)
(E)xercise
Ah come on, I’ve done well to get here without getting dubious.
I hate to admit that all the smug exercise people are right about it helping, but unfortunately they are. As much as I advocate blanket forts and crisps, I’ve got to admit exercise does give that boost! Those endorphins again.
Yoga
Quiet, concentration, calm. All good for the anxious over-thinking mind.
Zzzzzzzzz
Sleep. So so so important.
I know when your mind is a whirlwind sleep can seem like fantasy stuff, but an early night can bring a better tomorrow. A power nap can be an instant boost. A tired mind is a vulnerable one for those mean voices. Let’s try and give it a head start with a bit of rest!
So they’re my self care go-tos – would love to hear what yours are??
Reproduced with permission, originally posted here kellyandthekidsblog
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