How I feel when I’m anxious
I can feel absolutely fine, but then all of a sudden feel like I am in a dark room looking for somewhere to escape to. However, I can’t. I have to make a decision. My heart is beating faster and faster, people stare at me waiting for me to fall, and it seems like there is nowhere to go. I keep running, my eyes are closed and I open them again, but I can feel my heart beating faster. My body is sweaty and shaking, I don’t know why. I feel so much fear about this one decision, people are concerned, that moment feels like an eternity.
That’s what I feel like when I am anxious. Sadly, not many understand. It’s not an act. It’s a serious condition, and you can’t just push it away.
Working to remain sane
I have had varying degrees of depression for years now! I can cope with my depression when I’m busy and at work. What I can’t deal with is being alone and inside my own head. I know this may not make sense, because sometimes I can’t function at work, but I still refuse to be off sick and at home because I sink further into the hole.
One occupational health doctor refused to let me stay at work, saying I could not use my work as a crutch! I know I’m not seeing things straight when I’m like this, but surely that type of negativity makes people fighting depression worse?