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0 By Alan D.D.
Whenever you watch a movie, a TV series, or read a book, the first thing you see the characters doing when they think they could have something wrong in their minds, is going straight to a professional who can help them and save them from themselves. But in the real world, perhaps you cannot pay for your health.
The time will not come
When you see your family in a really bad financial situation, when money is a national issue in your country, when you depend on someone else to bring food to the table and there is someone who already needs a lot of money to wake up every day, it’s easy to know that you cannot add more weight on the house, and so you cannot pay for your health.
You start putting yourself at the end of the list, thinking that there will come a time when you can open up and be honest with the others, that it will take just a week or so, but the weeks turn into months and the months into years. One day you wake up and see that something needs to change, as your mind is starting to break once again.
I don’t remember the last time I went to the psychologist, because this has been my situation since before I graduated from college which was about three years ago. I used to think that it will take a little while before I could tell my family I need help, that I cannot deal with this on my own, but the time will never come, not while I remain in here.
Your mind will help you to heal
Although there’s nothing more important than our health, the world works with how much you can pay for it, like or not, and that’s exactly how it will be. However, it is not a case of either dying or burying ourselves in payments every month; it’s not black or white in this situation. There are other ways to fight back depression.
I’ve also lost count of the times I’ve said this, and I’ll repeat it until the last of my days: my art, my writings, my drawing, my music and my whole inner world have saved me from myself. The music I listen to, the paintings I did when in High School, the songs I sing along to when I’m alone, they all make it easier to breathe when I need to.
There have been many other people I’ve talked with, friends and family who have listened to me, who know things no one else knows, and my best friend has turned me into a warrior, just as I’ve done with her. It doesn’t matter if you cannot pay for your health, because your own mind will help you find a safe way to heal. As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, including you, everything will be fine.
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Actually what I have felt is that social institutions whatever be their political or religious ideologies, they don’t allow you to be economically independent and having a decently paid job. They dill push you out of everything and isolate you. They simply make you a social orphan. And not one’s made accountable for it. Your job money relations and property become someone else’s for the simple reason that you are having psychiatric illness. And those who have all these are social cheats thugs and criminals. They wield the power to judge us and decide our fate. And they are the parasites on us. Not we on ourselves or them.
I have seen and I keep observing them astutely that these non psychiatric public who make us invalid are such stupid people that of it was not for their sheer size of population they would have not have survived the fittest of the survival theory. Because they are intellectually physically and morally deranged and corrupt. I can only despise them and at times pity them.