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By Anonymous

My most recent bout of depression has been my hardest fought in that it has been by far the longest. I can’t tell you exactly when it reared it’s ugly head or when I lost control of it and my usual coping mechanisms proved fruitless but, except for a short 6 week reprieve towards the end of last year my dark cloud has been with me for around 3 years now. In the last 6 months I’ve realised suffering silently has allowed it room to grow and kept it a dirty secret that I have been ashamed of. So I began to write about those dark thoughts, the exhaustion, the pain, the fear and the isolation.

Getting it down onto paper has given me a release, a way to express it all and reading others stories has given me comfort and is slowly easing some of the shame. No-one should feel Shame. Battling our own minds is the hardest most courageous fight there is. I believe that wholeheartedly when it comes to other people and I’m working hard on accepting that that is the case for myself too.

BOOKS 2

Here is one of my poems expressing how difficult it can be to share:

MUTE

So much to say
A thousand thoughts trapped
Words battling
Desperately fighting to escape

Pressure building
Chest tightening
Mind racing
Veins pulsating

Mouth gagged
A thousand thoughts trapped
Pain mounting
Desperately fighting to escape

I am mute

and others can be read here http://gigglestears.wordpress.com (trigger warnings for self-harm, sexual abuse & suicide)

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iam1in4

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