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By Natalie
And so I feel it beginning again
The self loathing and endless search for pain
Pain that’s real and self inflicted
Pain imagined, unrestricted
Pain so deep, so dark I wouldn’t wish it on another
Yet aimed at me I’m willing to accept it
I work hard, pretending I’m much better
That’s all it is
A pretence
Exhausted and hurting
Tears falling like rain
Once again welcoming the pain
It’s cruel, unkind I know
But so familiar now somehow I wish it weren’t
Each day I remember some wisdom:
Be gentle to yourself
Rest
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Shower
Talk
Love
Each day I try to make it my mantra
But lately everything is tainted darker, deeper
Gentle
Rest
Shower
Talk
Love NOT Rage
Pain
Hate
Pain
Rage
Remember now,
Natalie:
Gentle
Rest
Shower
Talk
Love
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