Pushing the Boundaries of Emotion, One Day at a Time

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By RR1993

Being diagnosed with BPD can be both an extremely lengthy process and a relatively daunting prospect. This is why I have learned to push the boundaries of emotion, one day at a time.

Thankfully, My GP Realised the Current Treatment Wasn’t Working

From my own personal experiences, I displayed behavioural traits not too dissimilar to that of somebody with depression. So, this is the diagnosis my GP gave me. What followed were countless attempts with CBT, and numerous anti-depressants, all in a bid to reduce both my suicidal tendencies and addiction to self harm. I became clear that depression was not the issue. Thankfully, my GP realised that current treatment plans were ineffective and so referred me onto the community mental health services.

I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.

A Diagnosis Can Be Both a Blessing and a Curse

Now many of you that have been diagnosed may feel like you are being labelled as having a personality which is teetering on the edge of dysfunctional. Well you would be mistaken. A diagnosis can be both a blessing and a curse.

It is a curse because trying to explain to people the extremities of your emotions and how they are able to so easily take hold of your life and determine your daily activities, is a mission impossible.

Trying to Explain Your Disorder is Very Difficult

Trying to explain that you are unable to determine the emotions which ooze through your pores, is in no way comparable to somebody who is terminally ill. Trust me, people will nullify your problems and compare you to those deemed in a ‘far worse position than you’.

Conversely, it can most certainly be a blessing. I say this, because with the correct diagnosis comes the correct course of treatment. Correct medication can be prescribed, crisis plans can be put in place and suitable behavioural therapies prescribed. What comforted me the most was being able to see the same mental health nurse on a regular basis and not somebody different each appointment.

It Was All About Moulding My Extreme Emotions

For me, it is all about moulding those extreme emotions and using them to your advantage. I can guarantee, those who do not have BPD have never known motivation, desire, excitement and love to the extremes that those of us with BPD.

Look to the Positives and Steer Clear of the Darkness

Look to the positives and steer clear of the darkness.

Now, reaching a diagnosis of BPD can be a hugely lengthy process. I can remember, unbeknownst to me, displaying character traits of BPD from as early as 12 years old, I received my diagnosis at the age of 24. It can be a long old road, but it is most certainly worth starting that journey.

I Am Certain I am On the Road to Recovery

I am most certainly, still very much on the road to recovery. Like everyone, I still have my bad days (BPD style). Coming from somebody who prefers to plaster a smile on their face, and live life in denial of my mental health, the best thing I ever did for myself was asking for help. Without the help of those around me, I would not be here today.

Please, Don’t Become Another Statistic

Don’t become just another statistic, pluck up the courage to seek help and fight the voices in your head that tell you to do otherwise and most importantly – Don’t give up.