Always Somebody Worse Off

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By Martin

I jump back ten years now, to when I was diagnosed HIV positive. I had uveitis, a dangerous swelling inside my eyes. As part of the investigations I had an HIV test, which was positive. It turned out that wasn’t what was causing my eye problems anyway, but it was that that made me have the test.

I met someone facing a horrible choice

So, I had just had my diagnosis, and my sight was failing. I was feeling pretty down about things. One afternoon I was sitting waiting to see a consultant ophthalmologist. There was a guy waiting as well, about my age. He was using one of those big plastic lens things to read something.

We were the only two people there, and the long wait meant we started to chat. He told me he had TB, and it was very far advanced. There was a choice he had to face. He could take more drugs to keep him alive, but he would lose his sight completely, or not take them and he would die, a horrible choice.

Helping others

From that moment, I have always, although not always successfully, tried to remember that no matter how bad things may seem, there is always somebody whose situation is worse, someone whose struggles are much harder than mine, and they still fight. They need help just as much, or more, than I do.

From that year until the year they stopped doing it, I did the Walk For Life for people living with HIV and in hardship. Every year I raised money. Since that night I always do something else, or don’t do something. Whenever I see a coin laying on the ground, I never pick it up anymore. I think to myself that somebody else might need it more. Somebody may not know how they will buy food this week.

A good way to look at things

I don’t say or do these things to gain praise in some way or to put myself on some sort of pedestal. It’s just because I think it’s a good way to look at things: to remember to try not to be selfish and self absorbed, to remember others have problems too.

I do realise that I have needs too, now more than ever in my life, but I still try to remember the guy sat opposite me in that waiting room. I often wonder if he is still with us. My problems may seem huge, but they could be worse.