Not Enough Monsters: Frankenstein Yourself

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By Alan D.D.

It has been a time since I realized that while people tend to think that they have the right to criticize you, you do have to listen to some of those critics. Ask yourself if some of their comments have a good purpose and have no harm intended in them. Could there be a positive outcome?

Of course, in the end, the hardest and crudest of critics will be yourself. But draw a clear line between you and whichever mental health issue you’re dealing with. Then it becomes clear that change is more useful than we try to convince ourselves. Also, keep in mind that change is inevitable.

I ripped myself apart

My youth has been plagued with demons, problems, negativity, bullying, abuse and nightmares. Being who I am, to keep myself being loyal to who I wanted and still want to be, gave me more issues that I could ever list. Despite the pain, it has been worth it most of the time. There were also many things I could have avoided if I had stopped and looked before acting.

I forced myself to rip my own self apart, to burn and destroy the negative parts and keep as healthy as possible the good ones. Those which I needed to keep with myself. A quick example is that I used to keep my thoughts to myself. Everything that I wanted to do, say or try was kept in the most secret of places inside my mind. That’s not the case at all these days.

When you discover there are parts of you that do not help, do not heal and do not bring anything positive, cut them out and throw them in the fire. Then watch them burn while you smile and have a nice, sweet drink, chocolate if possible. And search for the best replacement, one that makes everything you want it to, maybe even more.

A happy monster

Now, we all know that people will keep on talking. But as Oscar Wilde said, “There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.” I couldn’t agree more. You can say I’m trying to make this part of my life philosophy, not minding if people look at me as if I were a monster.

In fact, if I’m a monster in the eyes of those who look at me, those that think they have the right to judge and raise their voices when I do what makes me happy, I can say I’m a happy monster.

I’m more than the sum of my parts, more than who I am and what people think I should be. I’m an amazing Frankenstein, and I wouldn’t want it to be otherwise.

Just as I did before, I’m doing now, ripping my parts, destroying everything that doesn’t do any good to my plans. And despite it being a painful process, I greet the tears with a smile. They mean I’m nearer to my ideal self and getting far away from what I should be. As I say, there will never be enough happy monsters in the world.