Accepting it might always be this way

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By Laura

I was diagnosed with OCD almost a year ago. At the time I also suffered from anxiety and depression, which still rear their ugly heads from time to time. I’m better than I was, although I still have bad days.

I feel like I’ve finally got to a good place. I’m on the right medication for me (I tried five types, none of which worked for me). I’ve finally got used to talking to my husband, friends and colleagues about my condition and I’ve even been able to do things I couldn’t (such as bowling) when I was initially diagnosed.

I’m better than I was

I didn’t think I’d get to this point; however, by the same token I didn’t think I would still suffer as badly as I do from time to time.

Overall, I’m well – or at least a lot better than I was a year ago. But, small things such as my husband accidentally smashing a plate can shock me into how I was a year ago. I retreat into myself, I don’t know what to do. I want to cry but don’t know how to express emotion. One of the hardest parts is explaining this – people think mental health is being well or unwell, and it’s just not.

I guess I might be this way forever, but for anyone who was in my position a year ago, just know it does get better. Not everyday is a picnic, but even with severe OCD, you can get to a point where you feel ‘OK’ – just don’t be surprised when the odd bad day still happens.