I am an Introvert, and that's OK

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By Sara-Jane Morphew

I am an introvert, and I really don’t mind. It is what I am. Although it has taken me a while to get to this realisation. I like sitting in silence; some of my best friends are the ones who are happy to just sit and watch telly, nap, read, anything really. You know who who are !! Love you xx

I like turning the radio off; sometimes I’ve just had enough of noise. I’m always the one turning the telly down in the evening or radio off in the car. Noise doesn’t disturb me most of the time. I work with children, and have 2 of my own, but usually by the end of the day I just need quiet, especially if it’s been a busy one. One where I have had a meeting, met friends, had the boys home all day etc.

I’m happy doing nothing sometimes

I’m happy doing nothing; sometimes it’s a need. I have to remind myself sometimes, but I need to do nothing sometimes. This is probably more of a recent discovery. I just need to stop, be still, not read, or draw, just be still. Meditation is good for this.

I don’t like big crowds. This is a funny one. It’s not crowded places or busy places so much. I can do busy pubs or buildings although I would rather a quieter restaurant or cafe. I don’t like a large group of people to socialise with. Large numbers of people I have to talk to, I suppose it’s an aversion to small talk, pointless conversations if I have to talk to people. I’d rather it was purposeful, not about the weather. This leads me on to the next point…

I don’t like lots of conversations at once. I don’t like being in a group where there are lots of conversations at once, I struggle to concentrate. I’m much better one to one. Work is probably the worst, sitting around the lunch table with sometimes 3 or 4 different conversations going on at once, I just cannot cope with it some days.

I don’t want to be popular

I don’t want to be popular; I’ve absolutely no desire and I don’t think I ever had the desire to be popular. In school I moved from group to group. I suppose I kept looking for the people that were most like me. My friends are precious to me and I am eternally grateful to them. They stand by me when I don’t call or message or miss things. They sit in silence.

I don’t want to be a public speaker; I have absolutely no desire to speak in public, read in church, make speeches, I would rather crawl under a rock! And this is where people struggle to understand. People keep trying to encourage me to develop these skills, why? I don’t want to be an extrovert. I’m happy being me as far as I can, and why on earth would I want to put myself into situations that will make me feel uncomfortable on a regular basis? No thank you.

Time to myself

I recently went on a hen do and it completely confirmed all these points. I struggled with the big group of people I didn’t really know, but I was happy to talk and learn about people one to one. It was lovely chatting to people and I can’t wait for the wedding. When on the vineyard tour I didn’t ask any questions, why would I make myself uncomfortable with a stranger in a public place? I needed time to myself sometimes, I needed quiet from the talking.

In fact right now I am writing this upstairs in bed (my usual spot) having some peace from the boys and in-laws. I just need to be alone sometimes. On the hen do I didn’t feel the need to be in the centre of the group being ‘popular.’ I was just me and had loads of fun. I struggled with dinner times, the many conversation times. And actually I struggled when we went out, more than I thought I would. Sometimes I just don’t settle into an environment and I just feel uncomfortable. It was loud with talking and we were surrounded by people. I tried my best but I couldn’t wait to get back to the house.

My friends understand, they know me completely

Most of all I was reminded of how lucky I am to have my friends. We lived together for 3 years and they just know me completely! They didn’t feel the need to check if I was ok every 5 mins, they supported my down moments, they listened, they understood and most importantly I had a ‘shcoopy shcoop”!!

I am an introvert and that’s ok! I don’t want to be an extrovert, I have no desire to be that person, that loud, confident, brash, on show all the time person. When you meet me I am quiet, but when you spend time with me you really see me! And I think it’s worth it!

From Lala, with love xx