Recovery is seldom what we think, we wish and want it to be. I’ll tell you now, recovery doesn’t mean you’ll be completely better, it doesn’t mean that for me at least, anyway. It’s learning to ride the wave and what illness may throw at us. You may never be the same person again, I’m not. When the fact I’d eventually recover was brought into conversation I thought, fantastic, I’m going to be my old self again, maybe rebuild old and lost friendships and perhaps start to enjoy things again. But the truth of recovery is quite different.
I believe now I am in a state of recovery, and it isn’t what I thought at all. It’s still struggling some days. I still get the mood swings, I still have to take medication and occasionally, still need to vent about things that bother me. What no one tells you about recovering is it’s like rebuilding yourself from scratch, starting anew, maybe even finding yourself again. It isn’t straightforward and it certainly isn’t picking back up from where you left off.
Recovery can be a wonderful journey
But don’t let this make you hopeless. It’s very much a hopeful message to you. You may have to start from scratch, begin anew but it can be a wonderful journey. Finding and cementing new friendships, relationships. Settling down and even finding new hobbies. Even in my semi-recovered state it’s hard sometimes to get out of bed, brush my teeth and even shower. But it doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it, every day now, good or bad, is oh so worth it and I wish the same for you.