Insomnia’s grip is getting bigger

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By Alan D.D.

I know the feeling. You’re tired to death, want to take a rest, want to forget it all and just close your eyes for a while. It could be either under the sun or the moonlight, but there’s something inside that prevents you. A voice, a sound, a face, that keeps haunting you, driving you crazy as the hours slow down. Insomnia’s grip is getting bigger.

Created by insomnia

It’s exhausting to spend hours and hours in your bed craving for a moment of peace, frozen under the Sandman’s lands. I know what it feel like. The important thing to keep in mind is that you need to find that one thing that takes a lot of energy. Something that tires you to the point of feeling completely drained.

Whenever I’m unable to sleep, I try to get tired doing what I love the most. I’ve lost count of the poems and drawings I’ve created because of insomnia’s grip. And I hold those little guys over and over again when I need to. As soon as they are alive on the paper, my eyes start to close.

Also, to draw and create new characters and people, strange, twisted creatures that only live in my mind, takes a long while. This isn’t because I am a professional, but because I never know what I’m about to do. I can easily lose one hour or two on a single sheet of paper until I’m finally done and my eyes hurt.

Not only paper

When sleeping is unthinkable and your mind doesn’t stop running in circles, it doesn’t matter if art is not for you. Whatever you can focus on is as good as the other options. What needs to be done is for your head to focus only on that one thing. Then it cannot think about anything that can harm you or make you feel bad.

It’s hard enough to deal with daily life when you’re mentally sick. Night should mean rest, peace, sweetness, nothing else. If there’s something you care about, something you like and love doing, then use it. It’s the best weapon you have to fight insomnia. You may not be ready for it to come, but when it does, you know how to control it.

The human mind is such a powerful thing we should always make it our ally, not our enemy. That’s what every mental health issue is about. It’s using the mind to fight itself, clashing the outside and inner world to collide the way we want them to. Then we are in control, empowered and unstoppable. It takes a long time, but practice makes perfect.