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0 By Keri
Perhaps, getting a job at fourteen years old, as a newspaper girl, was wrong. So said one of the mummies at the school I attended. Her rationale was that you would have a life-time career ahead of you after college. Best to achieve and concentrate on those exam results at school!
But then I was different and my mother also, as she did not fit the mould of who and what the other mentoring matriarchs were about. Mum did not have a university degree, a high-flying job, a posh background. She only wanted her bright, plucky daughter to be happy. Do the best she could and to instil some values that had served her well from her early working class days. Namely that hard work, attitude and talent are the recipe for success.
I thought I was sussed. Leaving my excellent school with equally excellent exam results and securing a place at a youth-popular Russell Group university. What could happen that would veer me away from my promising future that my teachers predicted?
Disability can intersect with every identity
My friend, a New York contemporary writer, protested recently on a march with a banner that read:
‘Disability can intersect with every identity. Every. Single. One.’
Yes, it can; and does.
At seventeen years old, I was hit with a diagnosis of a mental illness which hung like a leaden weight around my neck for far too many years that I care to remember. When some smug and pompous woman a year or so ago commented on an internet thread I was debating on with the statement:
‘But I can hold down a job!’
I wondered if she really considered her privileged and ‘I am alright, Jack!’ position?
Because I did Saturday jobs, secured those coveted exam results and then went out into the working world at twenty-two years and have stayed and sometimes, struggled in it, with limited support, for over two decades. One of the times I was suffering, a CPN who had seen me in my early youth, visited my house. She said what I had achieved ‘was remarkable!’ And when two companies I had worked for appeared on the list of top companies to work for in 2018, I, possibly, gave myself a pat on the back.
The world of work and HR
Yet, the overriding words I would use to describe my career so far would be ‘missed bypassed opportunities’. What happened to that mooted Directorship or that external training which would have advanced my career? For I had the substance but sadly, not the much-needed support.
There are still so many mental health issues that the world of HR, your bosses and your colleagues do not know about. My aim is to scratch below the surface of employment culture in the UK and inform you of what I have learnt and what to expect if you have the misfortune of being handed a mental illness. For twenty-three years of experience is a valuable resource to draw from and gives me some gravitas too.
I want to move on the conversation from ‘an awareness’ to actively ‘doing something and making a change in the workplace’.
Switching from the commercial environment to the public sector demonstrates a colossal difference. Well-being is prized in my current organisation. The qualities some of my former colleagues employed in commercial business roles ’to survive and thrive’ were downright cavalier and almost evil. Upmanship, snide public remarks about mental health, the bullying of other colleagues with invisible conditions and lack of understanding were prevalent.
The conditions you can’t see
If only a textbook could capture and define a human being, how much simpler life would be! We are all different and the mother I mentioned at the beginning of this article may have given instinctive, well-meaning advice to her brood but certainly ‘one size does not fit all’ is appropriate here.
The problem lies in the invisibility of human conditions. Your teachers could never prepare you for a boss. They are matter-of-fact and do not dwell on niceties. You are given a job role, there is an expectation of you and you are hand-picked to do the job well. Therefore, dealing with someone’s mental health issues is not a prime concern and very quickly a work situation can turn toxic.
There is no thought that a worker can get tired on prescription medicine, the commute can be stressful before entering the workplace. Then if the politics of work is not carefully monitored and managed, this too can have an effect on a vulnerable employee.
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Backward Vs forward thinking
In my present situation, a respected colleague shared with me, possibly a Silicon Valley way-of-thinking, that productivity is aligned to your work environment. Once these dynamics are in tune employees will be empowered and will enjoy their job and do well.
I believe it is a boss’s duty to not only get the work done but to also create a fun, hard-working, ethical team. A team that looks after each others’ backs, shares knowledge transparently and rises to the occasion of getting a task done when necessary.
A male friend once said to me ‘So what!’ when I explained I had a diagnosis. This was re-instated later on in life by another friend who simply concluded ‘But you do not suffer now!’ I actually welcomed both of these comments and they freed me also. Nowadays I manage through building bridges and working hard at relationships with loved family members and friends. I know who to turn to in a crisis and usually, they are only a telephone call away.
But. There are times when problems are out of my control: Disturbed sleep. Reactions to other peoples’ cruel comments and behaviour. Sharing my burden helps and with some self-care I tend to bounce back quite quickly. And just accepting that people will be and some are nasty,
Disclosure of my mental health has never led me to where I wanted. As I feel discrimination of mental health has not been tackled properly for many years. One boss, who was particularly unkind, micro-managed me and tried to second-guess my diagnosis, called me ‘troubled and ‘up and down!’’ when she thought she had broken the code of my condition!
Draining confidence
I wonder if ordinary people have to put up with and face those remarks? I see now that everybody has their own set of life problems. But with mental health ones, the antagoniser will always attempt to drain more confidence from you!
Another boss, after a situation blew up, and I had to reveal what I lived with, said – ‘I didn’t know you had it!’ To which I retorted ‘Should I have promoted it?’ A revelation of this magnitude to employers puts barriers up and I knew at that point that I would not have been given the job, if I had told him from the outset.
I function well with my diagnosis, in part, because I have lived with it for so long. Over time you master and handle yourself better through sheer experience and self-awareness. My parents have, undoubtedly, been my bedrock throughout my coming to terms with such a vicious setback and their ‘loving thoughtlessness’ has manifested in many guises. Was it only the other day I was again told ‘to be strong?’ Yet, I am proud that I have found my voice to calmly state my case and it has not been my parents’ voice nor activism. It has all been borne from myself.
Policies to improve the workplace
To make working life more conducive to all employees, these are the policies which I believe should be in the workplace:
• ‘A bit of banter’ is promoted as the norm. Your colleague may be guarded because they are afraid of saying something outlandish. Still include them.
• Make sure when you go for that job interview that you choose the right manager for you. It is important that you can relate to him/her on a personal level. Assess whether they will be the right fit for you. As they will make or break your career in your job.
• Play to your team’s strengths. No employee will be perfect. Respect breeds respect.
• Try to curb office gossip. We all have it in us to carelessly discuss other people. But it does not lead to a healthy work environment.
• Do not spring Performance Reviews on employees. Preparation for this is only fair.
• Make adjustments for your employees. We have the Disability Discrimination Act which covers people with long-term disabilities including mental health. By law, an employer must abide by this legislation.
Work has also been positive for me. I hope, one day, that I will be accepted and recognised for my work. In the meantime, I have the knowledge that I am a doer, can build rapport with all levels within an organisation, have a professional telephone manner, do good work, write well in business emails/letters, I am keen to learn and have exemplary experience and I am qualified.
Not what you would expect to hear from someone with a mental health condition? Time to think again!
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