In Hell and High Water - There is a Way to Heal

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By Jacqueline

Thank you to anyone who will read this. Firstly, I want to say that there is a way to heal from depression and anxiety.

I had a severe breakdown over 15 years ago. I recovered enough to do a part-time job. But, unfortunately, for me over the next five years, we lost 8 close family members. As you can imagine, one grief just led into another and another. I self-harmed badly. I won’t go to details as I believe it isn’t helpful. I’ve tried to commit suicide, but I am so glad I failed as I have three beautiful grandchildren.

I’m a very sensitive and passionate person and pick up people’s moods and problems easily. I’ve had to learn to put them back down again as I don’t feel strong enough at times to deal with it. I want to make the world a better place and see people well, and it frustrates me that at many times I have to trust and let go.

I Wouldn’t Even go Downstairs

Now, I paint. My art is something I love, and it’s a way to heal. I do it primarily for therapeutic reasons as it takes me to another place and I feel peace. We moved 8 months ago and I didn’t leave the house for many, many months. Sometimes, I would not even go downstairs but, thankfully, with some help from a new tablet my mood is much better, but I need to make the effort to get out and meet people.

I am also seriously investigating the effect food has on depression and anxiety. Many doctors are seeing a link because of the amount of processed foods we eat. My biggest fear is loneliness. I’m very much the sort of person who gets energy from other people, and I do not know hardly anyone where I live now. I’ve just started using the Mental Health Tracker to see if there are patterns when I get low and also vice-versa.

I am the 1 in 4

Tiredness can be a big trigger for me. I need good sleep, but I am a night owl and find it hard to switch off.
I try and leave the past in the past as I can’t change anything and try to live in the “now”. For me, that’s not very easy as I am a worrier.

To end this, I would say there is always hope. When I have been in the black pit and felt no hope I had friends who prayed and hoped for me. I am glad, in a way, that I am the 1 in 4. It’s been so bad, but I don’t judge people. I listen and love them because everyone has a story.

Love to you all.