By Jessica Evans
Seriously, it’s ok not to be ok sometimes.
Let me tell you why it’s ok not to be ok. None of us are perfect; we all have good days and bad days. Some of this is just a part of life. I honestly don’t know of anyone who hasn’t had a moment, a day, or even a week that wasn’t rough.
When you struggle with episodes of depression, or deal with the ups and downs of anxiety, you’re most likely going to experience “down” days a little more often than the average person. That’s unfortunately just a part of having a mental illness.
I know that when I have had days when I’ve felt down or overwhelmed, or when I’ve had a lot weighing on my mind, I’ve always felt guilty for not getting things done. If I laid around, or just did not feel up to doing the stuff I should have been doing, I would get so mad at myself.
Unfortunately, a lot of times I have been my own worst critic. I was always extremely hard on myself. It’s so funny, looking back I realize that most of the time, the only one frustrated and disappointed in me was me.
Doesn’t really make sense, does it?
The epiphany
Once I found the right counselor, she helped me to understand why I did some of the things I did. She helped me to see that being so hard on myself was holding me back from moving forward with getting better. I worked hard on learning how to forgive myself. I also started practicing mindfulness and positive self-talk.
Without putting all of this together, I would never have gotten to where I am now. I’m thankful I found an amazing counselor, who was able to successfully guide me through this. It wasn’t easy, but the more I changed my thinking, the more I learned.
One important thing I’ve learned is that it’s ok not to be ok sometimes. It’s ok to have a day where you “just can’t”. You might even have a few days where you feel like this. And that’s ok too. The key is not to stay there. You have to be careful not to get stuck. Don’t unpack and live there forever.
“We all have bad days, but one thing is true; no cloud is so dark that the sun can’t shine through.” ~ Miranda Kerr
The lesson
Nobody’s perfect, ok? No matter how much it seems like others have their shit together, the reality is, there is no perfect person! If anything, those that seem to have it together the most would probably surprise you.
If anyone tries to tell you that you have to push through and be “on” all the time, tell those people to go take a long walk off a short pier. That’s a lie. There is no one-size-fits-all set of rules we all fit under. We have to do what’s best for ourselves.
Hell yeah, it’s ok not to be ok. It’s ok to wallow, have a pity party, and even hide in a blanket fort all day. Sometimes we need to feel these things and acknowledge them. To me, it’s a healthy thing to do. If you never had days where you felt down, frustrated or like you just didn’t have the energy to deal with life, I’d be questioning your sanity.
The key component to remember here, though, is balance. It’s important – no, it’s imperative – that you do not stay in “blanket fort wallow mode”. Have your day (or even two), and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you need to for that moment. Reflect on your feelings, and learn from them. You can actually be your own greatest teacher!
And then once you’ve gotten what you need out of this – pick your ass back up and keep on keeping on! Life is gonna get you down sometimes – that’s just life. But never allow it to keep you down.
Always, always, always get back up. You may be surprised at how much stronger you rise.
~ Jess
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