A barrage of coughing at members' day

Read Time:3 Minute, 46 Second

By Andrew Low

I have a diagnosis of schizophrenia and my mental ill health stopped me continuing on the medical course to become a doctor when I was younger. My main symptoms were a vulnerability to the sound of coughing and the noise of traffic, and feelings of guilt over picking up some tattered pieces of pornography and flirting at the beach. I also experienced inner voices, tempting me to come and rescue someone under attack, which was only a trick.

Barrage - I have a diagnosis of schizophrenia. Amongst others, my main symptom was a vulnerability to the sound of coughing.

Sahaja Yoga Meditation

Over the sad years that have followed my first episode in 1985, and being thrown out of medical school, I have tried to help others and spread news of Sahaja Yoga meditation. Sahaja Yoga meditation is free. It has brought me a lot of benefits, and to talk about the value of reading. For example, there is the “repressive cough” of the bully in the great novel ‘The Cruel Sea’ by Nicholas Monsarrat. There is also, “A most malicious cough” in ‘Oliver Twist’ by Charles Dickens, definitely a crime committed in London.

Professor Sir Robin Murray

Professor Sir Robin Murray, as he is now, was head of the Institute of Psychiatry in Denmark Hill, London. I contacted him in 1996 and have helped in his research, including one study under Dr James MacCabe. Professor Murray is popular, and he has often written replies to my letters, which you have to say is rare in mental illness as I know it. I told him about ‘A Dreary Story’ (Or, ‘A Boring Story’, it depends on how the original Russian is translated) by Dr Anton Chekhov. The world weary medical professor hears the angry or irritable cough of his porter.

You can watch Professor Murray talk at a members’ day for the charity Rethink Mental Illness on the website. (http://www.rethink.org – “A review of members’ day 2017”.) It was Professor Murray they mentioned in the invitations, and at reception at the London hotel. It was his appearance which doubled attendee numbers for the event.

You can hear him talking in the warm accent of the Scots (A phrase from ‘Bomber Pilot’ by Leonard Cheshire.) on new developments in the understanding of schizophrenia and psychosis, and then taking questions from the audience. Professor Murray talks about the trick the Campbells played on the MacDonalds at Glencoe, and the need for a bit of suspicion or paranoia.

A drizzly day in winter

It was a drizzly day in winter, and it happened to be my birthday and armistice day. A good day for building peace as guru of Sahaja Yoga. Shree Mataji Nirmala Devi might have observed. I put my hand up to ask a question about my symptoms, to find out what Professor Murray might have to say about Sahaja Yoga. I was not selected.

Lots of people laughed because of the jokes in the talk. I would say there was a lot of coughing, but this may only be because of coughs and colds in the winter. Anyway, like in the book ‘My Brother’s Keeper’ by Stanislaus Joyce about his famous brother James Joyce, there was “humorous coughing and laughter.” Although it might not have had the reference to alcoholism that Stanislaus Joyce was specifically mentioning. People laughed, and people coughed, but that does not mean that psychiatrists say that coughing is related to schizophrenia. It did seem like a barrage, and the professor may be popular, but he is clearly not exempt.

Working as a pharmacist

I have worked as a pharmacist, and I can say that many patients come in with a cough or coughing that does seem hostile and unfriendly, repressive or cross in intent. The professor presented his speech on new developments but I do wish that psychiatry would take coughing and traffic seriously, and guilt too.

Certainly Shree Mataji addresses guilt and we know of its importance in Sahaja Yoga. Perhaps though, we need someone to stress the importance of coughing and vulnerability to the noise of traffic, tied up with a sense of shame and embarrassment.

It does make me wonder about courage. What does it take to rise high in psychiatry like the professor? What does it take to face a barrage like that? Where should we be going in studies in medicine and mental health issues? And when will Sahaja Yoga be followed in the mainstream? Am I a bit jealous of successful doctors like Professor Murray?

I was there, I didn’t cough, and I came to be constructive.

I plod on.