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0 By Mental Drama Queen
I’ve been thinking a lot about where I was this time last year.
I was so low. Nothing was enjoyable. There were days when I couldn’t get out of bed, let alone leave the house. I felt so alone. I was constantly having panic attacks. Just going through the motions. I couldn’t see a future. It felt like someone else was in my body, living my life!
When I look back, it all seems so surreal.
Did you know that 1 in 10 women experience depression during pregnancy? That 1 in 10 women suffer with post natal depression? That if you have a history of mental health that you are more susceptible to experiencing both? I didn’t.
But in a weird twisted ass way, I’m glad I went through it. Because of it, my life has changed dramatically. I am a completely different person to who I was last year. I’ve grown.
Things could have easily gone the other way for me. The scary thing is that I would have been okay with it. There are people I blame for pushing me further to the edge, but I choose not to dwell on them. I choose to celebrate and strengthen the relationships with the people who helped me even when I couldn’t see it. That’s not easy though. Reprogramming yourself takes a lot of work. Challenging negative thoughts every day can be tiring.
Today, I smile because I feel happiness. I let myself cry when I feel like it. I am honest when someone asks how I’m doing. I’ve reconnected with old friends and made the effort with new ones. I have jumped head first back into a career I love and I’m not so hard on myself. I praise myself for my every day small victories, like getting out if bed when I’m struggling. I’m enjoying things again.
The best part of it all… My marriage is stronger than ever.
My anxiety and depression are always trying to find ways to sabotage my hard work. It tries to twist the support I’m given.
But right now, I’m winning 😁
UNITED STATES
UNITED KINGDOM
