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0 By Amysboarderlineworld
I am a self confessed over thinker! I literally cannot stop my brain once it gets going. Sometimes I don’t mind too much as it enables me to get answers others can’t but unfortunately, the majority of the time, it’s a nightmare.
I Can’t Switch My Brain Off!
You never seem to be able to sleep! My mind is always racing at 1000 miles an hour. It never stops, not even at night. I have always struggled to sleep for as long as I can remember. No matter how tired I am, switching off my brain is sometimes impossible! I could be worrying about something that I have done or said. I could be feeling anxious about things that are coming up or even planning something. Sometimes, I lay there praying to my brain to, please, just switch off! But being an overthinking means that, unfortunately, no matter how much meditation or lavender sniffing you do or warm baths you take, sleep is just impossible.
You are always apologising! It’s a bit of a running joke with me and my friends and family that I can’t stop apologising sometimes! Before I have even established whose fault it might be, I am already saying sorry. I apologise because I always assume it’s my fault and I do things wrong all the time. Another reason I think I apologise too much is because I am forever worrying what people think of me. I hate confrontation so it’s much easier to apologise and just end the situation than there to be any kind of argument!
I Have the Whole World’s Worries on my Shoulders
You always worry about everyone else. Yep, I worry about everyone, all of the time. I find it almost impossible to just sit and think about me, to think about what I might want or need or what might make me happy. Nope, that doesn’t even enter my mind, it’s always about everyone else. I sometimes feel like I am on a one women mission to ensure everyone around me is happy! It’s like they’re all my responsibility!
I over analyse everything! I’m a positive person. I like to try my best to always see things from everyone’s point of view and get a positive outcome. However, to get to this positive point I will have spent hours, days or even longer over analysing the situation within an inch of its life! I would have thought about it from every possible angle and end up exhausted by the end of it!
Goodbye won’t ever just be goodbye. For me and my over thinking brain it’s never more on a roll than when I say goodbye to someone. Whether that be me leaving someone’s home or them leaving mine or even saying goodbye on the phone or over text. I can’t just leave it at goodbye and move on. Nope, I will over think and over analyse every single comment, gesture and conversation I had. Did I sound stupid? Did I look stupid? What were they or are they thinking of me? Should I have done things differently? Shall I message them now to apologise for all these things I have done and said wrong? Anxiety kicks in and I end up feeling really stressed sometimes!
Finding Positives!
I know to some this will all sound very over the top and probably silly too. And in all honesty, I agree! It’s absolutely exhausting and really tough at times to have a mind that never ever switches off.
I really do wish sometimes, that I could take all of the over thinking away but sometimes it does have its positives. I’ve noticed when friends have been very unwell but hidden it from everyone else. I noticed lots of different things that others simply don’t see. So, although it is exhausting, I honestly don’t think I would want to stop being an over thinker really.
Lots of love,
Amy xx
Reproduced with permission, originally posted on amysboarderlineworld.com
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