My Journey

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By Aled H

A few years ago I lost my uncle due to medical negligence of paramedics and a hospital. Not long after this, I lost my Nan due to medical negligence caused by the same hospital.

Bottling up feelings

I bottled my feelings and emotions up on this and just carried on with my everyday life. I’d go to work and come home, occasionally go out but that would be very rare. I had let myself get sucked into a black hole without realising it. If anything was wrong that would need me to see a doctor, I would not go due to what happened to my uncle and Nan. I’d just push through with my life. I rarely spoke to my family and friends and when I did it was brief and non-personal, even when pushed to open up I never would.

I met my partner through my workplace. She noticed the signs that I was anxious and depressed. She helped me and pushed me to go to the doctors to get a diagnosis and to seek treatment. It was through my doctor that I learnt about a local service that offered talking therapy, especially for anxiety.

Getting a diagnosis

I was diagnosed in January 2017 with anxiety and depression and put on citalopram to help me with this. I then had a referral for therapy. Within two weeks I had the first of several face-to-face sessions with a trained therapist who helped me to alleviate my anxiety of doctors and hospitals.

Since my first visit to the doctors and now, two years later, I am now on my third different type of antidepressant. Following citalopram, I was moved on to sertraline and now I’m on to mirtazapine. In my honest opinion, none of these have really worked fully for me. My current tablets have had the strongest effect but they are with side effects, including having to visit the toilet several times during the night, leaving me with little quality sleep. I have persevered with this and am finally finding a balance that is working for me and giving me a better quality of sleep.

Thankful for that push to get help

I have recently been introduced to a charity called Andy’s Man Club (AMC) who meet every Monday. It’s a safe place for men to talk to other men about what is going on in their lives. I have benefited greatly from going to AMC. It gives me a chance to open up and be honest about my life and what has happened in the previous week. I also get to listen to other men and offer them support. AMC not only gets me out of the house for a couple of hours, but it has also helped me gain more confidence and some new friends. I recommend AMC, to any man that is suffering, to come along and have a chat.

I’m in a much better place thanks to my medication, therapy and Andy’s Man Club. I cannot thank my partner enough for noticing the signs and giving me a push to get help.