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0 By Warren Davies
Who’s Your Support Network?
I speak a lot, in my presentations, about support networks and the importance of knowing who the five people are that you love, trust and know you can turn to for support and advice if things in your life go pear-shaped. This could be anyone – your wife or partner, mum or dad, brother, sister, family, friends or your GP, as long as you know who they are and, preferably, as part of enacting your “personal self-care plan”, you have let them know they are your support network before the situation arises that you have to call on them.
Because let’s face it, crap happens in our life from time to time. When under pressure, your judgement can be a little clouded. Decision making can be impaired, especially if you are also dealing with a mental illness or your world is crashing down around your feet. You need to know who can really be there for you.
What Is Success?
Being a mental health speaker and advocate, when I talk about having a support network, I am talking about it in that context. I often share the following story, a story which demonstrates that regardless of the situation, it is important to know, when your back is against the wall, who you can rely on.
The story is about a mate of mine. A mate who had built a very successful business across Australia and a vital lesson he learned. While building that business, my mate had accumulated a lot of business acquaintances and friends. These people are attracted to success and what success brings – it’s just human nature.
That poses another question. What is success? I might leave that for another blog topic.
He Lost Everything
My mate lived the high life that came with his success, and probably, to his own admission, got caught up in it, until one day it all started to fall around his feet. This was due to several circumstances, most of which I don’t know and are not important. I’m his mate. He lost everything, and the business was wound up.
It was in the final days of that process of losing everything and everything being repossessed that we spoke on the phone. My mate was an avid kite surfer. On that day, he was calling from his car, overlooking his favourite beach.
Ironically, he said there was a bit of a storm rolling in, making for perfect kite surfing conditions. He had the kite in the boot and he was going to go for one last ride. He explained that the next day everything was being repossessed, including his car and his kite. It was at that point he explained how different the day was from the day before and how it emulated his current situation and shared the analogy he had taken from it.
Who’s Your Real Support Network?
The day before was sunny and calm and the beach was full of beachgoers. Not unlike when his business was booming, he was surrounded by people all wanting to be friends and bask in the sunshine of success. But on that day we spoke, as the storm rolled in, the beach was nearly deserted. Only a few were out and prepared to face the storming conditions with him, again not unlike the situation he found himself in. With the collapse of his business, all the so-called friends had deserted him. He said to me on the phone he had learned a very important life lesson. He realised his life had been full of fair weathered friends. Yet, now he knew who were his real support network.
After reading this, I want you to write down five people that you love, trust and know you could turn to for support and advice if things in your life went pear-shaped. Then, contact them and let them know they are your support network and that you will be the same for them.
Reproduced with permission, originally posted here: http://www.theunbreakablefarmer.com.au/
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