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0 By Mental Drama Queen
Mental health awareness is being raised everywhere at the moment. It is a vital step towards ending the stigma surrounding mental health. There is still a lot of work to be done, but it is a start. Stigma is still out there and it is silencing sufferers who need our help!
I spent a lot of my adolescence numbing the pain. I’d get wasted most nights, because it meant I didn’t have to face the reality of my existence and the 1001 thoughts running through my head would be temporarily slowed down. I’d be on top of the world; the sadness and pain would be pushed down until the hangover kicked in.
I actually did try to reach out for help. I remember standing in front of the people who society tells you would help you no matter what, and saying what I did and why. The response: uncomfortable glances and shifting and ‘You shouldn’t do that’. Then it was buried and to this day no one has ever mentioned it.
Once, I asked to see a counsellor and even went to the doctors to get the ball rolling. I felt completely unsupported and isolated, so I didn’t go through with it.
Shame and silence
Those experiences taught me to feel ashamed and to keep my mouth shut. I should never burden others with my problems or make them uncomfortable. Someone more important had it worse than me and they were the priority and I was the problem. I remember feeling terrified whilst uttering the words and terrified that someone knew my secret. I learnt to smile on the outside and fall apart on the inside. And no, I was not an addict. I only did this when my illness showed up, hung about and refused to leave. I was self-destructive and thought I deserved what was happening to me.
Experiencing the social stigma attached to mental illness has been found to worsen an individual’s difficulties and delay or impede their getting help and treatment. These people are often viewed as dangerous, violent, criminal and unable to live a ‘normal’ life. The media doesn’t help with these views either.
Damaging words
Here are some of the things that have been said to me, and that others have told me have been said to them, whilst struggling with a mental illness:
▪ Respecting other people’s feelings is more important
▪ Why would you want to burden other people?
▪ Taking medication makes you weak
▪ Stop attention seeking
▪ Being cheated on is worse than suicidal ideation
▪ YOU ARE CRAZY
▪ All she does is whinge
▪ She miscarried ages ago, she needs to move on
▪ Therapy is for crazy people
▪ Other people have it worse
▪ You should appreciate what you have
▪ It’s all in your head
▪ They have an actual physical illness, you don’t
▪ They have suffered more than you
▪ Suck it up
▪ Why can’t you just be supportive?
▪ Man up
▪ I’m having a hard time too but I don’t expect help
▪ Just deal with it
▪ Are you sure that’s what happened?
The list could go on……
Ending the stigma
These things are still being said to people who get up every morning and dread facing another day. If you’re sat there gossiping about Susan who ‘has had it rough lately but needs to pull herself together and get over it’, then you’re belittling someone’s mental health. The person you’re speaking to could be a silent sufferer and you are reinforcing their belief that they should be silent. Then if the worse were to happen, you’d sit there wondering why they didn’t just talk to you!!!
Research has shown that the best way to challenge the stigma is to have first-hand contact with people with experience of mental health problems. Hence all the campaigns. Be part of the solution. Educate yourself and those around you. Nowadays, there is so much information available at your fingertips. Find it, use it and share it!
Please share this post to let others know that they are not alone
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