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0 By Mental Drama Queen
Anger is an important and valid emotion. It is a natural human reaction. Anger is a huge part of healing and recovery. Like everything, it has its good sides and bad sides.
Anger is often perceived negatively. Society often tells us that it is a forbidden emotion. We are weak and shameful for expressing it. We are mean, nasty people when we use it to respond to someone’s poor behaviour 🙄
If you are dealing with a mental illness, then you are likely to feel angry.
‘Why me?’
‘Haven’t I gone through enough?’
‘Why won’t it just stop?’
Don’t bury it
If we bury or ignore anger then it it is no good for anyone in the long term. It can have an adverse affect on our mental health. Anger needs to be fully processed like any other emotion. Only then can we grow. We need to learn from that experience in order to move forward and become a better version of ourselves. How can we get better if we are not honest with ourselves?
If someone violates your boundaries, you can be angry.
If someone bullies you, you can be angry.
And if you are a victim of abuse, you can be angry.
There are so many situations where you have every right to be angry. Not everything is butterflies and daisies.
Finding a healthy means of channelling and expressing your anger is so important. When I was younger I would lash out when I was hurt and angry. Over the years, I have found that talking to a trusted individual and exercising have helped me. Other times, I just need a good cry and to eat everything in the kitchen 🙈
If you feel like you need help to manage your anger then seek professional help. There is no shame in it. None at all.
Learn how to channel it
It is OK to express your anger to those you feel have hurt you. No one can tell you how to feel and you can’t tell others how to feel. I found this quote online: ‘Accountability can feel like an attack when you’re not ready to acknowledge how your behaviour harms others.’ (Tamara Renaye) We also need to unlearn the platitudes often said to an individual experiencing anger.
Which brings me to this: listen when someone is angry with you. Why are they angry? Try to understand why they are feeling this way.
A loved one with a mental illness is hard work. I have anxiety, so sometimes I have an outburst, which often comes across as angry when in fact, it is panic. So a person can feel hurt, confused and angry. That doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. It means they are human.
There’s a difference between feeling angry and being an outright asshole. Purposely hurting others is not OK. Being a nasty piece of work because someone isn’t doing what you want when you want is not OK. Using anger to control others is not OK. Learn the difference and learn from mistakes.
Remember: anger is a natural reaction to your boundaries being violated. Learn how to channel it in a healthy manner. Everyone loves the Hulk on TV, but we’d all shit ourselves if he went green on us in real life!
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I have a diagnosis of schizophrenia and I live with a partner who is really very angry very frequently.Maybe she’s just so driven (ambitious) with the children and wanting them to do well,or she didn’t pass her exams to get into medicine when she was younger.She boils over constantly and swears and abuses me and the children,calling me mad and telling them they are stupid.She needs professional help I would say,but will not go to the doctor.