Men are from Mars - Men's Mental Health

Read Time:4 Minute, 12 Second

By John Durrant

From an early age, the majority of boys are pressured by society, family or peers to grow up fast and be men, even before their teenage years. They get told they can’t play with dolls or dress up in women’s clothes, amongst other things that can be classed as gender stereotyping. Also, they are taught that they shouldn’t cry, that men are tough and strong and that showing emotion makes you weak. These boys tend to develop into men who struggle with dealing with, showing and sharing emotions. This can sometimes factor into why men struggle with mental health.

Male Suicide Rates

A recent report, made last year, showed the highest suicide statistics in the UK were for men aged between 40 and 44, at a rate 3 times higher than for women. A surprising amount of people didn’t know that men can also get postnatal depression. Usually, it is typical in their early 20’s with their first child, but it can happen at any time, just like with women.

Upon observation, I have noticed that a vast number of women are able to talk openly about their problems with family, friends or healthcare professionals, even feeling enlightened upon doing so. Whereas most men I have spoken to confess that they think that if they talk about their problems, no matter what the subject or how small the problem is, they will be ridiculed or judged. They feel that there aren’t as many options for them to seek the help and care that they need. Would you agree this is unfair?

Where Are Our Services?

In my opinion, this is very unfair. Males of all ages are struggling more and more with mental health because they feel like they cannot speak out or, as said before, there aren’t any services they feel they can turn to. My goal is to change that opinion.

I do not agree with society having a cookie cutter set out for every man, telling us how we should feel, think and act. I am not play-dough, ready to be moulded to suit their standards. Do you agree with my ideas about what is stopping you from expressing how you feel? Is it the thought of people thinking you are weak? Is it the thought that others will think differently about you? Would you feel lesser as a man?

We’re Allowed To Feel Emotions

Men have a stereotype following them throughout their life: they are never fearful or scared. They are never sad or depressed. Yet that is not the case. We’re human beings. We have emotions and we have feelings. We cry, laugh, get angry, be sad and fall in love. They are natural ways to feel.

We are not the stereotypes that society sets out for us. We’re not weak and pathetic for wanting to share our feelings and emotions. We’re strong, but because we want to be, not because we have to be. We are kings. We are thinkers. We’re whatever we want to be. Nobody has a right to stand in the way of that or stop us.

I understand that not all people would agree with my way of thinking, and that is fine. Not everybody thinks this way, and they are entitled to their own opinions. The only time when their opinion is a problem is when they try to shut down mine. We all have the pressures and stresses of everyday life such as work, families and commitments. This is why more men should reach out. We should build each other up, not tear each other down.

Embrace Your Mental Health

So I ask, what would help you embrace your feelings and mental health, without fear of rejection, ridicule and judgement? How can we make it easier for men to get the help they need and understand that there is help out there for them, before their mental health deteriorates so badly they feel as if they have nowhere to go?

It would be interesting to know how you all feel about this and to see your feedback. I feel lucky in a lot of ways. I have my partner to listen to me and, thankfully, a great mental health team who are listening and making great suggestions on how to help myself. From this stems my idea of helping more men get the help that they need and deserve, to help them realise that they are worthy of help and not worthless.

You Are Not Alone

As I have said before, my main goal is to achieve more professional help for men who are dealing with mental health issues. I want you to know that you are not alone and you are not weak. Seeking help is the first step to proving to yourself, and no one else, that you are strong. So, don’t be worried about what others think and let me know if you have any ideas or any other suggestions. I would very much appreciate it.

Thank you for reading,

John