Read Time:1 Minute, 33 Second

By Gul

I’ve thought about what happened many times. I still don’t really know why it affected me in the way that it did. When I first met you, I thought that you were rude, and I felt sorry for your mum. As I could see how much strain she was under. I didn’t give you a second thought. Not because I didn’t care, but because there were so many other patients.

The following Monday you were back again. I don’t remember the name of the drug that was used. All I remember is seeing you on the hospital bed and the nurse saying you weren’t fit to be assessed. I don’t remember what I thought or felt. By that point I had met so many people who were suicidal that it didn’t affect me.

It was around 3 on Tuesday. A support worker told me what had happened. I asked her why, and she said, ‘I think he has mental health problems’. A nurse asked me if I wanted to watch and I remember shaking my head. The paramedics and police then stretchered you in.

It was you

I didn’t realise it was you until you were inside. I remember repeatedly saying, ‘I know him.’ I think I was in shock. I’d been ok until I realised it was you. Later, I was told what had made you feel the way you did, and I’m not even going to try to imagine what that must have felt like.

I really do hope that you’re in a better place and that you got the help you needed, and I wish you all the best.

Out of all the patients I have met, you’re the one I can’t forget.