Stress Awareness Day and Young Men's Mental Health

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By Frances Beck

The Mental Health Foundation asked me again last week to support their new campaign launching on 7th November, Stress Awareness Day, to raise awareness of the effect of stress on the mental health of young men. I sent my tuppence worth (shown below) and thought no more about it, until yesterday, when I was asked to do a telephone interview with a reporter from The Times and another with Global Media and Entertainment who own Heart, Capital and Classic FM, to name but a few.

My dulcet tones have been heard on Heart Scotland news this morning (no idea if anywhere else), and I think I sound like a Scottish version of Eeyore. Ironically, it was quite a stressful experience for me, but I wanted to do it in the hopes that our story will encourage other people to reach out for the help they need. I was also asked last night if I’d do a TV interview with STV this morning, but unfortunately (or fortunately) my fibromyalgia flaring means I can’t, so you’ve been saved from my face interrupting your normal TV viewing and I’ve been saved from the stress of going through it.

However, I am really pleased to see that our story has been included in articles in newspapers and online, the length and breadth of the UK, which will hopefully reach as many people as possible. I’m compelled to continue to do whatever I can to try to prevent others taking their own lives and to save other families and loved ones from having to live the nightmare devastation that follows losing a loved one to suicide.

Stress Awareness Day

With November being Men’s Health Month and November 7th being National Stress Awareness Day, it’s a good time to highlight the detrimental effect that stress can have on the mental health of men, young men in particular. Men are 3 times more likely to die by suicide than women, and heartbreakingly, my eldest son, at the age of just 24, was one of those young men. Conor was in the 2nd year of his degree course at university and, like many young people, was under a great deal of stress for a number reasons. This took its toll on his mental health and if not caused, definitely worsened his depression.

Research shows that only 20% of young men would be willing to talk to their friends or family about their problems and are much more likely to turn to drink or drugs to cope. Conor was actually one of those 20% and talked openly to his close friends and family about his depression, enough that we weren’t overly worried about him (we’re told it’s the people who don’t talk and bottle things up that we should worry about). However, we latterly found out that he kept the real extent of how he felt largely to himself and had increasingly turned to alcohol to try to cope. Alcohol, being a depressant, only compounded his problems.

Please, open up

Despite being encouraged by myself and others, Conor felt that there was no point in talking to a professional about how he was feeling, as he didn’t know why he was feeling the way he did and had tried talking to a GP and didn’t find it helpful. Other close friends were also going through stressful situations that were negatively impacting their mental health, which normalised those feelings for him. Perhaps if he had been more aware of the impacts on mental health, he would have been more willing to seek the help he needed.

Some stress is needed in life to stimulate and motivate you, and to keep you safe in those fight-or-flight situations we find ourselves in. Relentless, high levels of stress, on the other hand, can make you physically and mentally ill. If, like Conor, you are under this type of stress, please open up to your friends and loved ones about how you are feeling and seek one of the many sources of help available, before you reach the point of breakdown. I can promise you that regardless of how bad things are, with help they will pass and you will get better.

There is no shame in talking about how you feel and seeking help, and if you have the courage to do so, you will encourage others to do the same. There is a misheld belief that doing so will make you less of a man. This couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s too late for Conor, and there is nothing I can do to bring him back, but I really hope our story encourages others to seek the help they need, before it’s too late.