Being a Mental Health Patient

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By Gul Khan

As I write this, today is World Mental Health Day. I would like to share my experiences of being a mental health patient. I was referred to mental health services as I had planned to commit suicide. A Mental Health Act (MHA) Assessment (which is used to decide whether an individual should be sectioned) was arranged. But as a doctor was not able to arrive on time, thankfully this never went ahead, although that shows just how useless the service is.

I was then seen by two mental health nurses, from a mental health crisis team, a few days later. One nurse told my sister that I had been to A&E multiple times, when I have been 4 times in 24 years (at 13, 21, 23, & 24), which demonstrated her poor comprehension skills and/or dishonesty. She also fiddled with her claws and rolled her eyes. This gave me the impression that she was trying to discredit my experiences and the seriousness of my emotional distress, which was rude, judgemental, unprofessional and lacking in empathy.

When I discussed bullying that I had experienced as a student nurse, both nurses stated that they had trained in the same trust and not been bullied. This was a way of further discrediting my experiences; their experiences were not relevant to my assessment at all. The male nurse then said that if I did not engage with a crisis resolution home treatment team and a community mental health team (CMHT), then he would call for a MHA assessment.

Abuse of professional power

I didn’t engage with the home treatment team. The staff were bone idle and unable to answer basic questions such as ‘What is your name?’ But a MHA assessment still wasn’t arranged. This showed that the nurse had used a section as a proxy: the threat of a section as leverage, which is an abuse of professional power. I wasn’t referred to CMHT either, as the crisis team were useless and didn’t make the referral.

I was seen by the male nurse from the crisis team again with a female social worker. He stated that he would like to see me one more time before he discharged me. He also asked me whether I had posted about staff involved in my care on Facebook, and I had done so. I was advised to write in a Poundland notebook and complain to organisations, rather than post on social media. This was intrusive, as I am free to discuss my poor care with whom and where I want. It was not relevant to my assessment, and as a patient I am not duty-bound by confidentiality.

I was then seen by the same male nurse and the service manager a few days later. In a phone call prior to the visit I stated that I still had some cleaning to do. He replied, ‘That’s fine, no need to kill yourself over it,’ and I knew he was smiling when he said that. I was referred to services because I planned on killing myself, because I have been in unbearable pain for the last 3 years. So for him to have said that, especially as a mental health nurse, was disgusting.

‘We don’t need your permission’

During the visit, the nurse asked me whether I had contacted my university lecturer. I’d said that I would during the last visit, but I was upset the day I planned to call her and hadn’t done so. I shouldn’t have needed to justify myself to him. He then said that he would contact her and share my 3 assessments with her. I told him he didn’t have my permission to do so, and he told me he didn’t need my permission. He also said he wasn’t going to discharge me, because I was ‘anxious’ and had ‘reacted to something small,’ and that he’d used ‘professional judgement.’ I wasn’t anxious. I was angry and upset, which are normal reactions to abuse of professional power. Abuse of professional power is no small thing, and his ‘professional judgement’ was severely impaired.

He said he was going to arrange a professionals’ meeting and invite my university lecturer, and said, ‘It will be decided whether a MHA assessment is needed’. I challenged him on this. I asked him and his manager what their reason was for this and what policy, code, or legislation would justify sharing my confidential healthcare information, without my informed consent, with an individual who is not my GP or a member of the Multi-Disciplinary Team (MDT). Neither of them were able to answer my question.

He joked about suicide

I also challenged the nurse about his suicide joke. He did not acknowledge or apologise for this, which shows he lacks insight and remorse. I became quite upset during this assessment, and the manager responded by smiling. My upset and distress were giving her pleasure. The manager then ended the visit with, ‘It was nice to meet you, Gul,’ which was a load of shit.

I then contacted the Royal College of Nursing (RCN). I was advised that, unless the trust had a policy which stated that my healthcare information could be shared with a university lecturer, confidentiality would be breached if it was shared. The complaints department told me that the information governance policy did not state that my healthcare information could be shared in this way, and emailed me the policy. I also asked my lecturer if my assessments could be shared with her. She said, ‘No, as you have the right to a private life,’ and when I asked whether she could be invited to a meeting about my healthcare, she said ‘Absolutely not.’

Kept in the dark

The male nurse called me the next day. I told him I didn’t want to speak to him, as I had complained about him. My lecturer told me that he had called her, too. She’d told him he could not discuss me with her. I then called the crisis line twice for an update on my healthcare. Both call handlers refused to give me any information. So I was unaware what my care and treatment was, whether a ‘professionals’ meeting’ had been arranged, and whether I was even still a patient, although I had every right to be kept updated about my healthcare. This happened simply because I had made a complaint, which also contravenes the Trust’s complaints policy.

Surprise, surprise, a MHA assessment was still not arranged, and neither was the so-called ‘professionals’ meeting’. My GP was not provided with my assessments. Then, after 8 days of being kept in the dark, I was called to say I had been discharged. I have now raised a formal complaint, with the help of an NHS complaints advocate. If I’m not satisfied with the outcome I shall make a referral to the parliamentary ombudsman.

Too traumatised to seek support

I have referred the 2 crisis team nurses and their manager to the Nursing and Midwifery council (NMC) for dishonesty and abuse of professional power. A senior nurse and a service manager not being aware of their own trust’s policies and what they can do and not do with patients’ confidential information is an organisational failure. So, for that reason, I referred the Trust to the Care Quality Commission (CQC). I shall also share my experiences with NHS Improvements.

Overall, the mental health staff were abusive, bullying, callous, coercive, dishonest, disrespectful, incompetent, and judgemental. They should be deeply ashamed of themselves. I’m still suicidal, and it’s taking everything in me to still be here. Maybe I could benefit from mental health support, but I’m too traumatised to seek the support. The actions of the mental health staff have deeply scarred me, due to their abuse of professional power, and I don’t trust anyone anymore. I genuinely believe that if it wasn’t for my sister, my close friend and my own resilience, I would be dead. Happy World Mental Health Day.