0 
0 By Lindsay
Recently I’ve had a few bad days. Thankfully, I’ve had a bit more space to notice these things and to take care of myself. Previously, bad days would be spent relentlessly panicking about not being at work and generally making myself feel a whole lot worse. Whilst there is still, of course, a rumbling sense of guilt within my core, I’m a little better placed to acknowledge whatever is going on.
The Overwhelming Guilt
The overwhelming guilt can be replaced in some part by a little self-care. I know that self-care is something that sounds incredibly easy – just get up and wash your face! – but the reality is far from it.
There are a few things that make me feel better. I do try them. Sometimes, though, it’s just about not doing anything that makes me feel worse.
Here is my list of tips for coping with your bad days.
Stay Hydrated
I know, I sound like your mother. Well, I am, so listen to me. If your hydration levels are low anyway, well hey, there’s no time like the present to bump them up a bit.
This could be personal to me, but I drink a lot of water. Therefore, when I don’t, I tend to feel like crap. If I’m having a bad day I don’t want to look after myself. I don’t even want to get out of bed. Just the thought of filling my water bottle and drinking it just seems like too much. If I don’t, though, I’ll get a headache which makes me more exhausted which makes me feel worse. It’s a long, boring cycle that can be avoided by forcing myself to drink more water.
Have A Nap
If you’ve ever met or encountered me online, you’ll probably know that I am somewhat of a sleeper. On a bad day, if I’m really struggling to cope, I just have to go back to bed and sleep it off a bit. It seems like a cop-out, as though I’m just escaping my emotions, but for an hour or so I really don’t see what’s so wrong with that.
Often, I’ll wake up and I will feel just that little bit better. Sleep resets me; maybe it allows my brain to process some of what I’m feeling whilst allowing me to not actually deal with it properly?
I’m not saying it’s a fail-safe solution, but it works in the short term. However, despite my great love for napping and beds, I’ll have to add…
Don’t Stay In Bed All Day
Last week, I had a couple of fairly shit days. One day, I stayed in bed until the afternoon. I got up and had breakfast (took it back to bed). I then had a nap and then I watched a film or something. The blinds weren’t even open and I didn’t get dressed.
Later in the afternoon, though, I wanted to watch Tenable. I got up and sat my miserable arse on the sofa, and not just because the TV signal in the bedroom is weaker! It helped. The room was light, I was (sort of) dressed, I felt a bit more human.
I love my bed, but I’m glad I’ve started to realise that spending all day and night there probably wouldn’t be the best move for me.
Get Dressed In Comfy Clothes
On another recent bad day (no, YOU’RE reducing your medicine), I was quite content that I was going to remain in bed, but I got up, got ‘dressed’ in a loose sense of the word, and sat up.
Being dressed made me feel a bit more human, and you know, it’d be less embarrassing if the fire alarm went off. By ‘dressed’, of course, I do mean that I put on something approaching, but not quite, a bra, some sweatpants, and a t-shirt. Day pyjamas, as I like to call them.
Just having these clothes on makes a difference. It’s not as tempting to lie around all day or nap more than once. I wear similarly sexy outfits when I’m ‘working’, so it sort of makes me feel as though I’m less of a lumpy failure, and simply taking a break from my incredibly glamorous and busy lifestyle.
Cry
For goodness sake, if you need to, cry.
I’ve spent too long not being sure if I’m allowed to cry, or so deeply analysing what I’m feeling that I never get around to actually feeling it. Recently, even if it’s over something daft and not necessarily related to my deeply confusing emotions, I’ve embraced having a nice cry.
1in4 UK Book Store:
[amazon_link asins='1977009336' template='ProductGrid' store='iam1in4-20' marketplace='US' link_id='ffcb5f04-1297-11e8-8b2c-c721ea9703cc']
It could just be, ‘I feel anxious, so I’m going to cry about it’, ‘I feel sad and I’m sick of feeling like this’, or, ‘We’ve just watched something perfectly normal and not emotional but I can relate to it and I’m CRYING ANYWAY.’
Sometimes, the trigger doesn’t matter. Just cry. Let yourself feel something, allow yourself an expression.
Talk
Talking is not an easy thing to practise, in my experience. I should rephrase – I can talk about whatever nonsense I like, but talking about my thoughts or feelings inevitably veers into a nightmarish confusion of word vomit as my overly analytical brain tries to make sense of my feelings.
Sometimes, I can’t catch up with myself. I can’t express it properly, but sometimes simply just saying ‘I feel shit’ is enough. It gives me a bit of breathing room, and if I’ve acknowledged how I’m feeling, sometimes, it makes it a lesser issue. I’ve acknowledged it, I spoke it out loud, now I can just carry on dealing with it and hope it has taken its bat home by the next day.
Distract Yourself
Sometimes, it could be that there’s something, in particular, making me feel a certain way. This doesn’t need to be, and usually isn’t, anything tangible. When it is, though, sometimes I have to recognise when I just need a break from it.
For a few days recently, I was feeling particularly bad about not having enough work, not earning money, and worrying that my limited income streams were becoming more sparse. One day, I tried to be proactive and search for more work opportunities. I didn’t feel much better by the end of it, to say the least. On another day, I tried a different tactic. I gave myself a fucking break. I completely ignored anything vaguely work-related, and I have to say, it was a welcome treat.
Eat
As with drinking water, my urges to eat proper, nutritious food go completely out of the window on bad days. I will listlessly stand in the kitchen perusing the boring offerings of my cupboards and more often than not, slope back to my place of rest (the sofa or bed) without having eaten anything.
I’m quite good at having breakfast because I know I need to take my medicine and it’s mercifully simple to put some cereal and milk in a bowl. After that, though, I’m stumped.
My appetite isn’t usually affected, it’s more the things I want to eat and what I can be bothered to prepare (spoiler: nothing). The best thing I can do is just to eat something to keep me going. If it’s a snack bar or a packet of crisps, more cereal, some oven chips, whatever. Health, wellness, and my five a day are not top of my priorities when I feel like I’d rather be sedated and put into a freezer like Bucky Barnes than actually live my life.
Brush Your Teeth And Wash Your Face
Even on days where I don’t get dressed or get out of bed until 3 pm, I try to make sure I, at least, brush my teeth and/or wash my face. It makes me feel a little more ‘proper’ like I’m less of a deranged swamp monster and am actually just a person having a bad day.
Showers or baths are all well and good, but who really wants to spend that much time getting wet in their own company when they could be doing something important like sitting down or crying?
In all seriousness, it just isn’t in me to bathe when I’m feeling that bad, so having a clean face and mouth is about as best I can hope for.
Write
Easier said than done, I know.
I’m actually woeful at this, and my journal entries are as sporadic as a good Ed Sheeran song (ooh, risky). The thought of writing things down that make little to no fucking sense in my brain is overwhelming, so I just avoid it. A truly excellent strategy, I know. Would you believe that it doesn’t always work? Eventually, I’ll cave in and try to write something down just to get it off my chest and onto a piece of paper I can then forget about.
It’s really fucking burdensome at times. I’ll freely admit that in the past, looking at my own handwriting has made me hate myself even more. Honestly. I’ve been known to get angry and just scrawl about how stupid I am and how I’m, of course, completely wrong about everything. Listen to me, though, as I don’t practise what I preach. Do as I say not as I do, and trust that sometimes, it helps. I promise.
It’s The Little Things That Are Key
I can’t assure you that these are life-changing habits that will make you feel like a stable, reasonable person all the time. They won’t. We’re all different, and not everything that works for me will work for you. Not everything that works for me works all the time. I’m fickle like that, it would seem. It makes no sense for me to ramble on about yoga, bubble baths, meditation and the like when I can’t even brush my own hair sometimes. These things help me get through those days that can loom above us like impossibly steep, overbearing mountains.
The little things are key to survival when you’re trapped helplessly in the tailwind of a nasty, vicious car crash. Keep it simple, look after yourself, and one day I’ll see you on the other side of that mountain.
Reproduced with permission, originally posted on seedsinthewasteland
UNITED STATES
UNITED KINGDOM
[…] about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to […]