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0 By Neil Hodge
I couldn’t let World Mental Health Day, on 10th October, pass without at least a short blog. It’s a day designed to raise awareness of and education for mental health issues and to provide advocacy for those who are impacted.
Several years have passed since I first experienced crippling anxiety leading to an extended period of depression. The experience had a lasting effect on me. And, despite a lapse back into my depression and anxiety controlling me in more recent years, it has changed my whole outlook on life and the way I deal with my own mental health. I am in control and though you can never say never, I intend to keep it that way.
Mental Health Day
Keeping my mental health in check
There are many elements that have made this possible, and I have the right balance of all of those to ensure it has been possible. In recognising this though, I know that, despite being impacted by depression and anxiety, I have been fortunate. Fortunate in comparison to many others and the stories they have to tell.
What follows is a snapshot of what helped me come to accept who I am, and where the roots of my anxiety and depression came from. And to deal with them effectively and long-term. This isn’t exhaustive but generally covers the broad range of what needed to be in place in the correct balance to ensure I became the person I am now and can continue to be.
Support at work
I was lucky enough to have an understanding, empathetic boss who wanted to help. They were interested in me as an individual and what could be done to support me get back to where I needed to be. Obviously in any work situation, there is a benefit to the business of getting someone back to full fitness, be it mentally or physically, so that person is fully productive. There are ways of doing it though. Treating employees like individuals, listening to them, adapting to the needs of the individual are all things a caring boss or business can do to support their people. You would make reasonable adjustments for someone who was recovering from a serious operation or a broken limb. Someone who has experienced mental illness needs time to recover too.
I know I was lucky to have a line manager who was empathetic and wanted to support me as a person first and foremost and an employee second. That goes for the business too. They were very open in their commitment to support their people in these circumstances. I have heard first hand accounts from too many people who work for businesses who treat them as a number. Situations where the business or line have no interest in supporting the individual. Circumstances where people have lost jobs because of mental ill health. The business or person doing the sacking may have dressed it up as something else, but peel away the layers and experiences up to that point and it is obvious.
Counselling services/Acceptance
Leading on from the support received at work, I was put in touch with counselling services. This was one of the key things that really helped me. It wasn’t an easy process and there were times I felt like giving up. I kept with it though. Now my day-to-day life and actions very much incorporate elements I have taken directly from that counselling. These are key to me controlling my mental health. My counsellor was the key to me accepting me. Accepting that this person who experienced anxiety and depression was who I was. Once I accepted that and realised they would always be there trying to break through, I was able to move forward. And I was able to take the correct action to ensure I keep my black dog well trained and under control.
Again, I am all too aware that these services aren’t available to everyone. Or if they are, there are long delays in being able to access them. This can only have a negative impact on someone’s mental health. The longer someone must wait for help, the deeper they can go. The worst-case scenario resulting from this is obvious. Samaritans’ figures collated show there were 6,213 suicides in the UK and Republic of Ireland in 2013.
An understanding GP
I have a GP who listens and provides the right support, whether that has been reviewing medication or making referrals on to other experts. I know that taking medication isn’t always the answer, changing personalities, and having other side effects. There is still a stigma attached to medication and not wanting to rely on it to feel ‘normal’. Yet many people take medication to control other illnesses. There should be no stigma in someone taking medication to help gain control of their mental health.
Family and friends
I admit that initially I didn’t tell family and friends how I felt. I was concerned about how they might treat me or how it might impact them. And I wanted to protect them from it. That attitude and approach had the wrong outcome, resulting in fractious relationships. Since I have been open about my mental health, relationships have improved. And my dealing with them is easier as I have a support network who understand me.
Once again, I am fortunate to have people around me that care and don’t judge. I know there are many individuals that don’t have the same understanding families and friends or indeed any support network at all.
No magic wand
I am extremely fortunate that what I’ve listed above is what was available to me and what worked for me. It isn’t the same for everyone. I’m also not suggesting that what worked for me will work for others that find themselves in my position. Everyone is different. The way forward for everyone will be different and the time it takes will vary greatly. It may take years of ongoing support. The balance of support will be different for everyone.
The point is – there is no magic wand. A simple word won’t make someone’s anxiety or depression go away. A simple ‘just cheer up’ or ‘man up and get on with it’ isn’t helpful. There is no cure as such. You can manage your mental health. There are actions and behaviours that can help. However, while these solutions exist, too many people don’t have access to them.
While that remains to be something that governments, corporations and businesses continue to work on, what can we do? Just having people talk about their mental health is a step forward. However, it is the reaction of others, as well as the provision of the services required to support those people, that still needs a lot of work.
Time to Change
Organisations like Time to Change are a great platform that provide the voice and support for individuals. They also allow corporations, businesses and other organisations to sign up and show their people that they are there to provide the support they need. They provide fantastic resources to help individuals understand mental health and what they can do to support friends and colleagues.
So, as a society we are making inroads into reducing the stigma around mental health and the ability for individuals to receive the support they need from both the people around them and from a professional perspective. But days like World Mental Health Day are vital in maintaining focus and keeping this at the forefront of people’s minds.
Every single one of us can make a difference. I’m not suggesting we have all the answers though. Listening to someone is a start and is something every one of us can do no matter who we are. We don’t need to have a solution or be able to advise the way forward to help someone.
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Just be there.
Just listen.
Don’t judge.
Reproduced with permission, originally posted on thegingerquiff.com
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