More Than Just a Number - How many take their own lives?

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By Frances Beck

10th September was World Suicide Prevention Day. According to the World Health Organisation’s statistics, almost 800,000 individuals take their own lives every year. That’s one person that dies by suicide every 40 seconds. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among 15–29 year olds globally. The UK statistics of suicides in 2017 were released last week. Promisingly, they have shown a slight drop in the suicide rate amongst males. However, the rate in females remained consistent with that of the last 10 years.

However, we cannot let those figures allow us to become complacent. 5,821 people died by suicide in 2017. Of those, 4,382 (75%) of the deaths by suicide were males. Worryingly, the suicide rate in Scotland is the highest in the UK, with 13.9 deaths per 100,000 persons. England is the lowest, with 9.2 deaths per 100,000 persons.

Trails of Devastation

I’ve probably either made you feel despondent, bamboozled, or made you want to switch off. Yet, please take a moment to consider that these statistics and figures are real people with real lives. Just like Conor. For whatever reason, but most probably poor mental health, they felt they could no longer carry on. Each of those people were somebody’s son or daughter, brother or sister, mother or father, nephew or niece, aunt or uncle, grandson or granddaughter, or friend. Each of those people left a trail of devastation in their wake.

Suicide does not only affect the individual who takes their own life. It also affects a wide circle of family and friends who are left behind and have to try to pick up the pieces. It’s no coincidence that friends and family members affected by suicide are more likely to go on to take, or attempt to take, their own lives.

Creating A Legacy

Conor’s birthday was on a Friday. That day and the days surrounding it were much more overwhelming for me than I was expecting them to be. The thin scab that had been surreptitiously growing over the open wound in my heart was unceremoniously ripped off, and the pain and heartache was as raw again as it had been in February when he left this world. We did, however, manage to celebrate his life and all the love that he brought into our lives. I’m so grateful for my best friend, who set aside her own troubles and made the day much more bearable for me. I’m also grateful to the many friends and family who sent messages of love and support; their kindness really did help. As I’ve said before, never underestimate a simple kindness.

One friend of Conor’s messaged to let me know that the people and artists involved in the record label that Conor founded are going to produce and sell an album. Better yet, the proceeds would be going to Beautiful Inside and Out SCIO. They’re a charity that we previously raised funds for in Conor’s memory, who provide counselling and therapy sessions for troubled souls, as well as supporting the parents and siblings of suicide victims. That really made my day and is an amazing legacy for my darling boy.

Suicide Is Not Your Only Choice

However, the torturous torment that’s been prominent again, over the past few days, is a pain that I wish no one else would have to endure. It has only served to bolster my resolve to try to make sure that no other individual feels that suicide is their only choice. To ensure that no other family has to live this devastating nightmare that we now do.

Myself and Conor’s good friend Stephanie met with a representative from the Mental Health Foundation in Glasgow last week to try to forward that cause. After getting nowhere fast emailing various people in the Scottish Government, I’m happy to report that the Mental Health Foundation, who focus on prevention and aim to find and address the sources of mental health problems, are keen for us to be involved and will help us to get our voices heard.

If Only…

To help promote World Suicide Prevention Day, they are publishing one of my blog posts on their website, and we will be getting involved in their upcoming Make It Count campaign. As far as we’re concerned, this is only the beginning.

Ironically, Conor shared a post on Facebook two years ago, saying, “It’s World Suicide Prevention Day and all you need to remember is that it only takes one conversation to make a difference that could change a life”. If only a year and a half later he’d been able to take his own advice. Yet another “if only…”.