By Rachael Senior
A few bits and bobs to catch up on, so let’s start with last week’s CBT session.
CBT Session #2
I went along to this a lot calmer than previous week, as I roughly knew what to expect and where I was going. And also when I got there, there weren’t umpteen toddlers, babies, prams, parents, noise and suspicious smells this time!
We discussed more specifics on my history, triggers, built up a bit of a timeline of occurrences and instances. We discussed how I feel about myself, in situations and in general, and what effect that may have had on my mental health.
It was quite nice, as I kept referring to my previous experience of CBT years ago. But I realised I was just confusing CBT with mindfulness. When I had CBT previously, all I can really remember is just concentrating on mindfulness from session 1. I don’t recall really going into depth much as to specifics and causes.
That is the difference. This time I am getting discussions and examples and going deeper into why I feel the way I do and what I want out of the end of it.
I definitely feel it to be of more use already. Next session is on 13th August, but that’s fine. I’ve got a lot to process in the meantime.
Failures and stepping stones
Generally I have still been feeling pretty good recently. I get a little nervous and anxious, and my mind wanders from time to time, but there’s nothing I can’t seem to shift without relative ease.
I am trying to remind myself that I am my own person. I live my own life and make my own future. I don’t need to hold back my future by being scared of what other people may think. I don’t want to be seen as the “always skint, can never afford anything, always jumps from one idea to the next, no self-confidence, it’ll never work..” type person…
I want to do things and if they fail, not be ashamed but be able to use it as motivation and experience to build on for next time. I don’t want to see that as a failure but a stepping stone.
Currently, I guess that’s how I see myself, probably coz it has an element of truth in it, so I can’t really blame others for thinking that way. I want to eradicate that line of thought from myself so that if others still think it, I won’t actually care.
Something I keep pondering on.
Peace & love & remember… should you need us…
www.facebook.com/FindingMyFeetAndVoice
Reproduced with permission, originally posted here:
http://www.shouldyouneedus.co.uk/cbt-2-thoughts-on-myself-121/
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