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0 By Sharvari Joshi
Hey, there. You’re depressed. Life sucks. You’re not eating well. You’re sleeping way too much during the day and staying up at night, and you can’t remember a single good thing about yourself or imagine that it’s going to get better. I get you, friend. It might not seem believable, but I do. I feel the exact same way.
The Little Things
A bone to pick with you
I do have a bone to pick with you though. It’s about your hopeless outlook for the future. How do I know that? I feel the same way, remember? Just because I’m seizing the opportunity to write this article on a slightly better day doesn’t mean I don’t have bad ones. On those days, all I see is a failure who can’t even make herself a simple meal, let alone attend class or finish an entire thesis.
But hey, here’s what I just realised. You’re looking at this the wrong way. There are so many things, little things you do every day, that are actually pretty cool. Even if you aren’t doing them today, you’ve done them before, and so you will again. When you consider the fact that you’ve been feeding and bathing and prepping yourself all your life, those few bad weeks will be revealed for what they truly are—a case of the hiccups.
I trust you, friend. And no matter how you feel right now, every day you spend alive is another day you trust yourself too. For so many long years, your life has been in your hands. You’ve trusted yourself to keep it safe, and since you’re still here, you haven’t broken the covenant. It’s time to honour that trust. It’s time to believe in you—not the you that HAS this illness, but the you that IS a person, an institution, a soul.
It’s going to get better
I’d like to tell you that someday you’ll be free of it. But the truth is, I honestly don’t know. I can tell you though, with absolute certainty, that it’s going to get better. There will come a day when you get out of bed at a decent time. And when that day comes, I want you to revel in it.
Don’t focus on how you had to go back to bed three hours later because you’d exhausted your energy for the day. Don’t feel guilty about surviving on ramen and soup and coffee. You got out of bed. You turned on the kettle. You waited patiently until the soup was ready to eat. Maybe you even turned on the gas and cooked some noodles. That’s a lot.
Maybe in a few days, you’ll finally take a shower. You’ll find that it helps. So you’ll take one the next day, and the next. A week later, you’ll have enough energy to cook a proper meal. Maybe you’ll even go out of the house or have a whole conversation with a neighbour or go for coffee with a friend. The possibilities are endless.
It’s certainly a lot more than what you did yesterday, or the day before, or that time you consumed nothing but water for a whole day because you couldn’t bring yourself to wash a dish.
I won’t lie to you: that day is probably going to come again. Here’s what you can do to prepare for it.
Preparing for the bad day
* Stock up on the instant food. It’s okay to dip into your store if you’re feeling too lazy to cook on a weekday, but make sure there’s always enough left over to feed you for at least two bad days.
* Wash more than just the essential dishes. Wash a couple of saucepans and all the forks. You’ll thank yourself when the time comes for you to cook those noodles, and there is actually a clean saucepan in the cabinet.
* Tell a friend. Make sure it’s a pushy one. Or, you know, one of those nice ones that turn pushy when the occasion calls for it. Drop them a text on the bad days. They will probably come over and do your dishes for you, or take you out to dinner despite your protests. The hardest thing to do on a bad day is asking for help. This way, you’ll always have help on standby.
* Hide the alcohol. Better still, give it to your roommate for safekeeping. Yes, if you drink enough of it, you’ll eventually pass out, but the few hours before you do will be much, much worse.
And…
* Refill your meds a few days before you run out. I can’t stress this part enough. You won’t want to go to the pharmacy on a bad day, and you shouldn’t have to. Skipping them entirely, even for a day, is A BAD IDEA. There aren’t many things I would consider taboo when you have depression, but not taking your meds is definitely at the top of the list.
* Download an app. Relaxation music, meditation tutorials, a personal assistant. There are several apps on the market, most of them free, that cater especially to people with nervous disorders. Yes, you’re just talking to a bot, but it’s a very intelligent and sympathetic bot. Besides, you won’t feel the guilt that comes from “bothering” your friends with your problems.
*Get some posters. Hang them in a place you can see from your bed. I have a banner in my room that says: “You really are good enough, smart enough, strong enough.” Cheesy, I know. Would you believe I’ve looked at that banner and cried my eyes out because I just needed someone to say those words to me and reading them did the trick?
*Get hold of some comedies. Watching Netflix all day is better than stewing in your own stinky thoughts. Treat yourself to F.R.I.E.N.D.S. or Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt or Deadpool. Whatever floats your boat.
1in4 UK Book Store:
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You don’t have to do all these things every time you have a bad day. Remember that simply getting out of bed is good work. Don’t stress. Take a break. You deserve it. After all, you’re only human.
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