Stigma, a Mark of Disgrace

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By Georgie Budding

STIGMA
noun

A mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person.
“The stigma of having gone to prison will always be with me.”
Synonyms: shame, disgrace, dishonour, stain, taint, blot, blot on one’s escutcheon, blemish, brand, mark, slur.

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Suggests something wrong, undesirable

The meaning of the word stigma suggests something that is wrong or undesirable somehow.

Mental health is one of the biggest things with stigmas attached. There are far too many different examples of mental health to mention. And I won’t dishonour any of them by forgetting one so I will talk about the ones I have or believe I have.

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, have both anxiety and depression and we are looking at the possibility of ADHD in our family. Each of these holds a stigma. You don’t talk about them without someone judging or belittling. And you don’t talk about it without someone invalidating you with ill thought out comments.

You don’t talk about stigmas… but I have never been one to conform.

Mentally scarred but…

Yes I am a survivor of abuse. I was 8 when it started and 15 when it stopped. It has caused me no end of problems in many ways and I am mentally scarred by it. But I am still here.

I have anxiety, and will panic if I hear of an accident in an area where I have friends or family – just in case they are involved. Or I will have internal panic attacks going past a tree that is blowing in the wind just a little too much for my liking. (That’s an example of one of the MANY things that scare me daily.) Illogical I know, but I can’t help it – I try to hold it in check but that in itself is exhausting.

I have depression and have had suicidal thoughts in the past but something has always held me here. But when I am on a low my anxiety kicks in that one day something might not and I will be gone. Thankfully I have started to recognise my own signs and will ask for help.

ADHD?

ADHD? I have been told that I “don’t want that label hanging over myself or my children”. But the label of being naughty and disruptive or a let down is more acceptable? If you are going to label – at least make it the right one and get the support in place to help. Some of the brightest stars of our current times have ADHD – Richard Branson, Michael Phelps, Will.I.Am and Will Smith to name a few. Their personal achievements speak for themselves.

It is time we stopped judging people by something that is beyond their control and started accepting. Acceptance will break the stigmas that these and many more mental health issues carry.

I am no worse a person for being depressed, anxious or having ADHD. I am still a human being who needs a little extra support in some ways – and there are thousands of us out there in so many different ways.