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0 By Arun Dahiya
Yes, two of the most stigmatized disorders. I am diagnosed with both and that being said, life with them isn’t that easy.
Generally these words are thrown to demean and insult others. Like, what a borderline!! Or psycho. Well, to normal people that may sound ok. But I find these words stigmatizing.
Some of the psychosis symptoms are prevalent in people living with borderline personality disorder (bpd). Such as hallucinations and paranoia.
Hallucinations
Hallucinations are the false perceptions like hearing, viewing or touching something that essentially isn’t there. In my case the most common are auditory hallucinations, i.e. hearing voices. Generally they feel like they are occurring inside my head. Sometimes it’s the muffled voices that don’t make any sense. Other times two people are arguing and negatively criticizing me or ordering me to harm myself.
A few times I’ve had visual hallucinations too. This is viewing different shapes of objects or sudden unknown faces in the room. And I clearly know that the things aren’t real. I am hallucinating but it feels very scary. It lasts for a few hours.
Paranoia and derealization
Paranoia is an intense fear of being under threat and a sense of distrust in things. Under extreme stress paranoia symptoms occur in bpd people. And to others they may come across totally unreasonable and crazy.
Derealization – another psychosis symptom that people with bpd have. It’s the feeling of not being in your body. For me, I feel numb, spaced out and observing myself from far away. Specially when I am deeply hurt. I feel zoned out and observe myself sitting. And everything is happening to my body and I am observing it from a distance. It feels like being locked in a glass wall and I am shouting, yelling and crying for help. But I am invisible and unreachable to everyone.
Strong enough to fight
These are some psychosis symptoms I experience along with borderline personality disorder. That being said I am still me, and despite everything, I fight every day to be alive, happy and to thrive. It’s sometimes tough to handle but I am strong enough to fight with all the storms in my life.
Reproduced with permission, originally posted here:
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