Suicide and Mental Illness

How many more people need to die, before we, as a society, actually step up and address suicide and mental illness? We have to be the change.

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By Frances Beck

Recently we’ve had 2, possibly 3 high profile suicides. Fashion designer, Kate Spade; Chef, Anthony Bourdain; and I may be completely off here, but reading between the lines, Actor, Alan O’Neill. All people who were very successful, and apparently had everything to live for.

The Shocking Truth

For some reason, there’s a general consensus that only destitute people with nothing to live for take their own lives. This could not be further from the truth. Any suicide is absolutely heartbreaking and leaves so much devastation in its wake. However, the number of people who are portrayed in the media doesn’t reflect the actual, unseen picture.

According to the Office of National Statistics, 5965 people in the UK died by suicide in 2016 (the most up-to-date information). That averages 114 people every week, or 16 people every day who felt that they had no other choice than to take their own lives to rid themselves of the pain that they were living with. Of those people, three quarters were male. If you’re not shocked by these figures then you should be. I have to admit that I had absolutely no idea of the true extent of the problem until I was unwillingly thrust into this new reality.

The biggest question that everyone asks is “Why?”. 9 times out of ten, that question can’t be answered because the only person that really could have answered is no longer with us. So, ultimately it’s up to the people that are left behind to try to answer that question. We use the surmised answers to try to ensure other people who are in crisis are able to access the support they need, to try to prevent other needless suicides. This is where we, as a society are failing.

From all my reading around the subject, as well as my own personal experience, the overarching cause of suicide is poor mental health. And contrary to many people’s belief, depression and other mental illnesses do not discriminate. They can happen to anyone, regardless of how successful, rich or fulfilled a person is. I’ve seen some totally misdirected posts on social media about the death of Kate Spade. It shows the real lack of understanding of suicide and mental illness. And do you know what, it’s ok not to understand because you have been extremely lucky to never have had to experience this dark side of life. I truly envy you that.

What’s not ok, is to judge what you don’t understand out of a false sense of grandeur or entitlement.

How Many More?

How many more people need to die by suicide before we, as a society, actually step up and make a real difference? Rather than focusing on asking why it has happened, with no real resolve to act on the reason, I think it’s much more important that we ask what we can do to try to solve this. I think this needs a top down and a bottom up approach. Government need to take responsibility for doing everything they possibly can to prevent suicide. They need to appropriately fund mental health services so that every person who needs support is able to access services quickly.

Given that at least 1 in 4 people struggle with mental illness at any one time, mental health is grossly underfunded. The waiting time for referrals to specialist services is ridiculously long: months rather than the days it needs to be. It’s important to remember that our MPs and MSPs are in their posts because we put them there to act on our behalf. If they’re not doing that as well as you’d like, you have every right to call them to task. I’ve already been in contact with a number of MSPs in the Scottish government and await their proposals for their new suicide prevention plan, before I continue to press them on exactly how they are going to ensure that the issue is effectively tackled.

Our Expectations

We also need to take responsibility for our own attitudes and actions. Why do we have completely unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others? Why can’t we be content with being our true selves and be accepting of others who are brave enough to be their true selves, with all our flaws, vulnerabilities and fabulousness that make us human?

Social media doesn’t help with people portraying their perfect lives and how they easily hold everything together. The older and wiser people amongst us can see this for what it really is, an unreal ideal. Because NO-ONE has a perfect life and we’re all just trying to muddle through the best way we can. Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual.

Why, also, is admitting our vulnerabilities seen as being weak? Particularly if you are a man. There is a huge way to go and there needs to be major change to effectively tackle the issues of suicide and mental illness. However, I believe that if we are all willing to make a mind shift in our attitudes and openly talk to our friends and loved ones about these issues, we will be moving in the right direction.

We have to be the change that we want to see.