Why do we seek validation from others?

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By Rachael Senior

Well here it is, post 100. That means we are nearly 1/3 of our way into the year. Scary stuff!

I’ve been really thinking about what I could write about today, and one thing which I kept coming back to was: ‘Why do we seek validation from others?’

Why do we seek validation from others?

Why do we care what other people think of us? More to the point, why do we care what strangers think of us?

I guess the main thing that came to mind is to prove the naysayers wrong. Okay, that’s understandable if you’ve had someone be a negative impact on your life for one reason or another, sure, you want the ultimate revenge, by being a success and making sure they know it.

But why do we let the naysayers control our movements, our health and our lives, in doing so?

Why do we want validation from others that we are doing okay? Maybe it’s not actual approval we seek, but more that the made-up conversation you had in your head feels the need to be proven.

Maybe I am just speaking too generally. Let me use myself as an example.

Wanting to prove a point

I want to never talk to some people again, I don’t want to see them on social media, out and about, I don’t want to see the people they associate with. Yet, in my head, I feel I have to make my business work and get my mental health better to prove a point to them. But what point is there to prove? I am not going to knock on their door one day and say ‘Ha! Guess what! I’m not on meds any more!’ or ‘My business is better than yours was!’ So if I get to these levels that I deem to be goal-achieved, with the backbone of my driving force being to prove them wrong, then what do I do with that? What was the point of that?

They won’t know. So why am I living my life, thinking, worrying and working, like they will?

I need to do things for me

I’m switching the ratio around. I NEED to do things for me, because I like to, because I want to, because it makes me happy, and if I have a little motivational boost from previous experiences, then that’s good, it can help, but I shouldn’t use those experiences as the sole purpose of being.

It gives the people who don’t deserve it far too much time of your life and thoughts, when obviously they have taken too much to begin with.

I am sorry if the above makes no sense, I started thinking it would be a profound blog, but as I wrote, I just thought of the same thing and tried to understand it as I typed.

Day 100 of my blogs!

Today is day & blog 100. I have been happy and positive constantly for a good couple of weeks now and I feel mentally stronger already.

I’m in a place where I am starting to understand the separation between my past and my future. I am who I am through experiences both good and bad, and my future is built on the foundations of my past, but it is not the structure of my future.

The structure of my future is me. I want to do things and speak my mind and have my own opinion and be happy-go-lucky, and be the genuinely laid-back person I once was.

I’m actually getting there

Today, I realised I am actually getting there. On the train on the way home from work today, I thought of how I haven’t felt horribly anxious in a couple of weeks now, and how I’m actually getting through the days without really any overwhelming issues.

Today I remembered what I used to feel like, and it was a wonderful feeling and one I want to use and focus on for the future me.

1in4 UK Book Store:

Iam 1in4 Mental Health Daily Tracker and Journal

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Positive reevaluation of life is where I am at.

Now I am going to put on A Bit of Fry and Laurie, and go to sleep for a great night’s snooze.

Thanks for reading and I hope you like it – in fact I just hope it makes any remote sense!

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Peace & love & remember… Should you need us…

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