Support and where to find it – there’s no one size fits all
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By Emma Saccomani

Seeking support is one of the biggest steps towards recovery. Finding an outlet to express your worries, symptoms and fears can be a life-saver. Working out the right option for you can be daunting at a time when you may have little energy and patience. In this blog, I explore the support options out there, both professional and self-help, and some pointers to help you navigate them.

Support and where to find it – there’s no one size fits all. Finding an outlet to express your worries, symptoms and fears can be a life-saver. Working out the right option for you can be daunting.

Safety first

For emergency medical attention, please go to your local A&E, get a GP emergency appointment, or call 999.

For suicide prevention and support, always seek emergency medical attention or call 111, if you are in crisis. You can also download this valuable Stay Alive app for advice and helplines. The Samaritans offers general help, while Papyrus focuses on supporting young people and CALM targets men.

MIND have an ‘I need urgent support’ button on their home page. Select it, and as well as sharing emergency information as above, it leads to their toolbox.

A journey of discovery

There are no right or wrong answers! You’re on a journey of discovery, with plenty of ups and downs, that only you can take. You’ll need to dig deep, especially when you come up against unhelpful processes and, yes, sometimes unhelpful people. But we’re all more courageous than we think we are. And it’s not a journey you should have to make alone.

If you’re not quite ready to dive in, why not take a look at my blog Taking that first step to finding support, or have a read about….

Calling the Samaritans – Hattie Gladwell’s experience

You may have thought that the Samaritans isn’t for someone like you. Well, ANYONE can call, you don’t have to be at crisis point, though lots of people are. They’re there to listen, and that small act absolutely saves lives.

I learned that they are made up of volunteers who really care about mental health, and that they’re there for you 24/7 with no time limits on calls. I also found that they are not there to offer information or advice. They cannot tell you what to do. What they are there for is to listen. Simply listen. I knew that’s what I needed. What happened when I called the Samaritans – Hattie Gladwell

Are you supporting someone else?

Your practical support to enable them to access a service could play a vital role. If enrolling on an anxiety support workshop requires a telephone consultation, but someone’s anxiety involves using the phone, it’s not going to be an easy start! As a supporter, you can offer to be with them or make the call for them. Or even drive them there, so they can explain in person that there needs to be flexibility to these processes. I’m pleased to report, in this real case, the individual was enrolled after a face-to-face meeting because of the support of a partner.

The official first port of call – visiting your GP

All the expert advice says to visit your GP in the first instance. I’ll share some reasons why that can be a good idea, whilst being realistic about the challenges and that this is likely to only be one part of the recovery jigsaw.

The gold standard is a thoughtful GP who not only listens but explores possible reasons for your symptoms, and helps you understand them, rather than one who just starts writing a prescription for anti-depressants before hearing your story. In the google age, we’re quick to self-diagnose, but a good GP might dig a little deeper. Or you could ask them to consider:

Could your symptoms be side effects from other medication you’re taking?
Might there be a medical condition at the root of the symptoms that needs ruling out?
Sometimes it could even be something as basic as a vitamin or mineral deficiency such as B12 or Vitamin D – ask for tests.
And one for the women – are you going through the menopause? I’m hearing all sorts of stories about prescribing of anti-depressants and then symptoms turning out to be connected with the hormone changes. I met Nicki Williams at the Wellbeing@Work conference and this is exactly what happened to her. Check out her book It’s not you, it’s your hormones.

A gateway to free therapy and complex referrals

Your GP can give you access to talking therapies; this is the premise of the IAPT (Adult Improving Access to Psychological Therapies) programme (you can also self-refer in some areas), though there might be a wait. While you can find details of services available locally by typing in your postcode on the NHS Choices website, the information isn’t always comprehensive so you might be better checking directly at your local surgery. Online therapy is an option too, here’s an example of IESO online talking therapy if you live in Surrey.

Your GP is always the gateway for referral to NHS psychiatrists and the Community Mental Health Team for more complex mental health issues. That’s a whole other area I won’t get into. I’ll leave it to the experts MIND to help you, with some invaluable information, in their user friendly guide Seeking Help for a Mental Health Problem. It also has advice for carers and more complicated areas such as what if your rights are restricted and when you might need an advocate.

Preparing for your GP appointment

Even if you have the luxury of a double appointment, time is short. It may be difficult for you to express on the spot the full story of why you’ve come. It’s well worth preparing if you can – here’s a handy guide and video from MIND, Find the Words

‘We want everyone with a mental health problem who visits their GP practice to get the support that best suits their needs… around one third of all GP appointments are related to mental health. However, it’s not always easy having that first conversation about your deepest feelings with your GP, someone you may hardly know’ – Find the Words campaign

Overall, it seems the service is under incredible strain. Individual GPs seem more or less confident in this area. They aren’t necessarily keeping up-to-date with all the services and options available, for a range of reasons. I heard that my local surgery weren’t mentioning support groups and a local safe haven offered by my local mental health charity. So I physically dropped off a box of leaflets and talked to the reception desk.

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Don’t rely on one visit with one GP if you don’t find it helpful. Visit another GP at your surgery and keep researching what’s out there.

Employee Assistance Programmes – tap into this under-used resource

Maybe you were vaguely aware you have access to an EAP, but had forgotten, or are worried about confidentiality or you didn’t realise the range of issues that they can help with: from financial planning to gambling, stress, grief, relationship issues, suicidal thoughts… the list goes on. Whatever the reason, EAPs are not as well used as they could be, so why not give it a go? They can offer phone lines, plenty of online information and signposting, and face-to-face counselling. It can be an excellent starting point and companies only ever receive statistical, anonymous information so it remains entirely private.

My advice to any employers out there, promote it as part of your onboarding process (from recruitment to probation) and then keep on promoting by linking it, where appropriate, in your general communications, and make sure it’s easy to find on your intranet.

Local support groups enable you to self-refer

The value of local support group is that it is so easy to self-refer and you can meet others and even start to feel part of a community. There are a huge range of options covering a variety of needs, from peer support groups for conditions such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders and bi-polar, to more general wellbeing workshops and activities, including walking groups. If you don’t think it’s for you, even just visiting one once is doing something. Even if it turns out not to be your thing, you might find someone interesting to talk to or pick up a useful leaflet.

Hub of hope – to search what’s available in your area

Visit the Hub of Hope where over 800 mental health support organisations have registered, and type in your postcode to find out what’s available near you. In some areas, such as Surrey and North-East Hampshire there are Safe Havens (sorry it’s a postcode lottery at the moment!) These provide a friendly café style drop-in, evenings and weekends, where there will always be a qualified mental health specialist on hand and a far more appropriate environment than A&E to receive support for an emotional crisis. Here’s what my local mental health charity CornerHouse offers.

Recovery Colleges

These help people improve their health and wellbeing through educational workshops on a range of psychological, mental and physical health conditions. Workshops include Understanding Medication, Managing Stress, Anxiety Management and Introduction to Crisis planning. Experienced facilitators and people with lived experience run the free workshops, and you self-refer. I haven’t yet found a one-stop shop list of recovery colleges, it seems you have to search by particular area or region, e.g. Nottingham Recovery College.

Talking Therapies – find a therapist who’s right for you

Your GP might refer you to a therapist. However, waiting lists can be long and you may only qualify for a limited number of sessions. So you may decide to explore options yourself. A qualified therapist will use a variety of tools, according to your needs and where you are on your recovery journey. Whatever their experience, qualifications and methods, you have to be the right fit for each other at a particular moment in your journey, so if you have that luxury, don’t be afraid to change therapists and/or the type of therapy if you don’t feel like you’re moving forward. Someone I know took three attempts and over a year before finding a therapist that enabled them to ‘ feel like a person not a problem’.

MIND Talking Treatments information is a ‘go to’ for both NHS and private options. If you’re looking for a local qualified counsellor or psychotherapist, I can recommend The Counselling Directory, run by a passionate dedicated bunch based in Camberley that I’ve met. Their site also has a very useful ‘I don’t know where to start’ section. Of course, there’s nothing like a recommendation from a trusted friend as a starting point.

From the comfort of your home

Specialist organisations and helplines

There are a wealth of specialist websites which are so valuable as they are just that, specialist. People have often set up the organisations to fill a gap. They can include research, personal stories and online support.

Take BEAT for example, there’s a very enlightening section on what not to say to someone with an eating disorder and some very helpful alternatives.

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Harmless is a user-led organisation that provides a range of services about self harm and suicide prevention. Like all these organisations, they want to overcome stigma, educate and provide a real sense of hope.

Elefriends is an online supportive community run by MIND, ‘A safe place to listen, share and be heard’.

In response to the limitations of a purely medical approach to psychosis, the Hearing Voices Network provides a safe place for individuals to describe their voices, visions or other unusual perceptions, as a way to understand and learn to live with them, which can be incredibly empowering. It campaigns to put the individual, and human language, at the heart of treatment, and to ensure professionals start seeing the person rather than objectifying them as a ‘disorder’.

Given the role of trauma and adversity, we need to start asking ‘what has happened to you?’ rather than ‘what is wrong with you?’ – one Hearing Voices contributor.

Helplines

The Helplines Partnership offers a search function for numerous organisations.

Self help

Or shelf-help?
Our local library isn’t just for that holiday read, the Reading Well Shelf Help initiative signposts helpful and engaging books around our mental health and challenging topics such as anxiety, bullying and body image. The programme has two strands: Books on Prescription and Mood-Boosting Books.

Online blogging

Many people find blogging on platforms such as Time to Change Personal Stories and I am 1 in 4 a gamechanger. Blogging can give you a voice, and reading blogs can be a wealth of information if you want to put yourself in someone else’s shoes.

My favourite mental health resources

This is a previous blog, My favourite mental health resources, with a range of books, videos and resources.

Your biggest weapon – your brain: friend or foe?

Understanding that our own brain and thinking patterns are our most powerful weapon plays a major part in recovery. Regardless of whether or not you follow a formal programme of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, challenging our thoughts and understanding they can be either helpful or unhelpful, is something we could all do more of. Here’s an extract from Guy Winch’s engaging Ted Talk, ‘How to practice emotional first aid’. This might tempt you into watching it.

Our thoughts, our minds and our feelings — they’re not the trustworthy friends we thought they were. They’re more like a really moody friend, who can be totally supportive one minute, and really unpleasant the next. By taking action when you’re lonely, by changing your responses to failure, by protecting your self-esteem, by battling negative thinking, you won’t just heal your psychological wounds. You will build emotional resilience, you will thrive.

Compassion for ourselves and compassion for others is the theme of Ruby Wax’s new book – How to be Human. With help from a monk (who tells us how our mind works) and a neuroscientist (who tells us how our brain works) she gives us insights into evolution. She explains how it influences our thoughts, emotions, the body, addictions, relationships. And how we can ‘upgrade our mind and not just our iPhone!’ One of the tools she explains is mindfulness, so here’s a user-friendly introduction from a practical, well respected app, Headspace.

No one size fits all – what’s helped you?

Wearing a number of different hats – whether as a Mental Health First Aid Instructor, volunteer and trustee of my local mental health charity, a member of the Surrey Independent Mental Health Network, or from experience supporting someone – I’ve come across a wealth of resources. I love to share them and hear what you think, as well as hear about any others you find useful.

Email me emma@b6learning.com and connect with me on LinkedIn

Reproduced with permission, originally posted on:

https://b6learning.com/blog/where-to-find-support-theres-no-one-size-fits-all/

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