PTSD and Pregnancy - Ask before you touch my bump

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By Samantha Jones

Provoking raw emotions

I am now into the third trimester of pregnancy. As my bump has expanded I have noticed more people wanting to feel my stomach. For a lot of pregnant women it is normal to have people ask whether they can touch your bump. But for someone who suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) it provokes a lot of raw emotions.

There are times when I cannot cope with physical contact due to the abuse I was put through as a teenager. When people put their hands on my stomach without asking, I can go into a state of fear. I can completely close over due to the fight-or-flight process that naturally occurs in my brain. Society believes that when a woman is pregnant, this automatically gives people permission to touch her without her consent. This is not how it should be.

Ask before you touch my bump

We have heard so much in the media recently about consent. So why should the idea of consent not apply to women who are pregnant? Would people do this to a non-pregnant woman? Well the answer is no. I understand that you want to feel my baby move and to feel how my stomach is expanding but please ask whether this is OK with me first.

There will be times when I cannot emotionally cope with the physical contact. But there will be better days where I may be able to tolerate you having your hand on my stomach. Please ask beforehand. This is crucial for my emotional wellbeing. Also take note of my facial expressions when I am answering you. I may agree to you putting your hand on my bump but it may be only because I don’t want to hurt your feelings, if I am having a particularly rough day.

I need to protect myself for the baby

It has been proven that PTSD symptoms can cause preterm labour due to the additional stressors of remembering such events. For this to be a minimal risk, it is important that you ask before you touch my bump and accept my response if I don’t allow you to at that moment. Although you may feel disheartened, please understand that I need to protect myself so that my baby is not put under any additional stress. I know that when my baby is born, you will want to hold her. And you certainly can, but please respect my triggers whilst she is still inside me.