Never Judge a Book By Its Cover – Does Appearance Relate to Mental Health?

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By Keri France

It was going to be one of those conversations that would repeat in my head and not be forgotten. A curious statement that would take my own therapist, many years later, to define as ‘disgusting’.

I realise that we all wish we had the ‘edit’ button we could liberally use when we are speaking to people, but, from someone in a professional capacity, do we expect more? Especially if that person is an expert on mental health. At least, that was what the write-up said in the surgery booklet.

To put into context, it was uttered at the beginning of this decade, way before the groundbreaking discussions on mental health were ignited. And I was keen to meet a General Practitioner who specialised in psychiatric matters, as I thought I might get some troubling problems resolved.

The doctor judged my appearance

Now the blur. I only remember what was said – not the lead-up to the discussion. I think I was probably finding my work life tough, and I mentioned this to the GP.

The words he uttered were these: ‘It’s a pity you look the way you do.’

This is the part where all my recent empowerment training comes into place and I get indignant. For heavens sake, how does appearance relate to mental health?

This attitude. This buying into sheer stupidity. This. He had no idea of the impact his words would have on me. If a doctor could not identify my struggles, who would show compassion and understanding in my times of need?

Be it healthy or not, I look to the private, Oscar-winning Catherine Zeta-Jones, the late, brilliant Carrie Fisher, the poster girl of mental health in this country – the comedienne Ruby Wax, and the late iconic frontman of Nirvana, Kurt Cobain.

Does appearance relate to mental health? No.

They all inspire me. Why? They suffer from what I have, and they have still gone on to make successes of their lives. Without the ponderous weight of boxed-thinking getting in the way! And are, or were, their appearances deemed to be fitting for their particular condition? Give me a break ….. does appearance relate to mental health? No.

What I find interesting is that the components of my star-gazing list who are American have really made it BIG. And does it follow that attitudes over the pond do not hold you back and you can still excel? I am not sure. I have not visited America yet, so I will have to let you know.

You can still excel

But what is encouraging is that the campaigns surrounding mental health were born in this country, like so many pivotal social movements. The United Kingdom can certainly take the glory for that.

And as for work, things are gradually getting better. Maybe the two opposing sides of me – the experimental arty and the serious quiet semi-professional – are equally sustained through the self-knowledge and awareness that comes with age. Certainly employers are facing up to and recognising the mental health challenges that some of us suffer from, with great and innovative schemes. And our colleagues are savvy to the mental health talks created in the media.

Surely it is time to ensure we all reach our potential and support each other in that very ambition? And best practices can be learnt from anywhere in the world. As long as we have the body, mind and spirit of an individual at the heart of our dealings with each other, that is enough. And that, to me, is progress.