Managing emotions

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By Stephanie Meikle

I’ve always had trouble regulating and managing my emotions, because I can feel very intense emotions that I find hard to respond to in an appropriate manner.

My response to emotions I couldn’t handle would be to self-harm and punish myself for the feelings I felt. This is one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with and change. Taking away the only thing that has helped you cope makes you feel very vulnerable, because you have to feel and face what you’re feeling.

Releasing my emotions

New ways to respond to emotional pain.

For me, I need a release.

If it’s anger, what I’ve found really helpful is filling up red balloons with water and chucking them out of the bedroom window.
If it’s anxiety, I find my breathing along with my fidget toys helps to take away the extra energy.
When it’s sadness, I need to acknowledge it, feel it, accept it, write about it and let it pass.
If it’s happiness (extreme), I put limits in place. You can only do this for a certain period of time. Even being too happy, manic, can be dangerous.

Restlessness and many other emotions are always helped by my weighted blanket. A lot of people with autism use these to calm themselves down.
When I’m really depressed, Sarah and I go for a walk. Fresh air, out in the open to chat and see something different.
But most of all, telling someone that I’m starting to feel out of control with emotions helps, so they can offer solutions when I’m not in a rational state.

Planning ahead

Most people also have crisis plans in place that are on their records, so that if you are admitted to hospital, it’s already on your notes what helps and what doesn’t.
An important thing to remember is you are in control, even when most of the time it feels like you’re not. So when you’re in a situation you do not feel comfortable in, before you get into it, tell yourself you can leave if you want.

When emotions take over

I’ve had panic attacks that repeatedly occurred on a daily basis after exams at university, and I lost all sense of reality. I became trapped in an irrational state. It was torture. I became trapped by anxiety and stress.
With my problems in communicating I had no way to reach out to anyone to tell them how much I was struggling. I would be like that for hours and hours until I’d see Sarah or Adam. Sarah would be able to get through to me to calm me down. I would just be on the floor, curled up in a ball in the dark. I know I can bring myself back to reality by myself now. I’m very proud of that achievement. I can stop it becoming such an issue.

Okay to say you’re not okay

Everyone has some difficulties managing emotions to some degree. It’s always good to learn to regulate and control your emotions in a more healthy way. It can be life-changing.

Top tip:
The fastest way to get information to your brain is smell. So I recommend carrying a nice smell around with you that you can smell if you feel your emotions are getting the better of you. It really helps for me.

Thank you for reading.