Life and Being Told You Should End It

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By Terry Collins

Hello, I’m 39 years old and I have suffered with severe anxiety and depression now all my life.
Life, because of my illness, is one thing I don’t have. Yes I take my medication, and I get good times and bad but the bad outweigh the good.

No friends or family

I have no friends or family or even a loved one as they can’t cope with me, but I do understand as I can’t cope with myself.
I get help from doctors and the mental health team and also from Advance Brighter Futures in Wrexham. It’s the biggest mental health charity in North Wales and I’m so grateful for it. I know without it I would not be writing this now.
All my life I’ve been told I should end my life as I’m too messed up and I can never be happy.

I just want a life

I have self-harmed, I’ve cut myself, I’ve taken countless overdoses and I’m a suicide risk. Every day for me is a big fight. I hate myself for feeling the way I do, as all I want is to have a life, hold down a job, have friends, socialise, have a partner to share my life with. But I feel it will never happen.
My illness is not me. I’m still a person but everything is hard. Leaving my room, going out, even eating. I have gone days without food as I could not leave to get some.

This is just a small picture of the struggles I have and what I’ve gone through in my life.