Understanding

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By Maxine Wright

I was wondering how you see alcoholism?

I had two in my family, my brother ended up with korsakoff syndrome (alcohol dementia). To him he was fine, to me my brother died, and a child emerged. His short term memory was none existent, he was trapped in the 70s. A positive was that he saw us at our youngest!

Myself and sister became his voice, protectors, fighting for his rights. For 17 years life was hard going as his dementia progressed, yet in his world he was happy and content as long as he got his own way. His life ended within 8 weeks of being diagnosed with cancer of the bladder, which he never once complained about. My world turned upside down, I felt I died. Through this I ended up with depression and anxiety.

It was nearly 3 years ago, I received bereavement counselling and also saw a psychologist. I went on to a group writing therapy, as I write down my thoughts anyway. I usually put my feelings in the form of a poem, that was for a year.

I take my meds I’m doing ok but the person I was I am no longer, and I accept that. I still get negative thoughts, and my patience is not great, my broad smile hides my sadness but hey I’ve mastered that too. I still question what is my purpose on earth, I question a lot of things.

I spoke of two, she has drunk for 50 years now. Since having a stroke has also got dementia, do we destroy our selves??