Recovery

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By Susan McKinstery

The process of recovery, revival, rehabilitation
Of being yourself again
Possesses a quality no one tells you about
There is no cataclysmic event
Through which you are restored
Rather it is the gradual clearing of a fog
And the big secret?
You are often the last to know that clarity has returned

It is not that the load you have been carrying for so long it has become part of your fabric
Is at once yanked from your shoulders by a kind, much stronger stranger
It is that the burden becomes incrementally lighter
It is not that you acquire a force field
Allowing the world’s shrapnel to bounce off
It is that this debris
Now only leaves the merest imprint
Where once would have been a huge, smoking crater

And there comes a time
Where the shape of the challenge ahead
Looks chillingly familiar
It is the one which put you to the test
And found you wanting
Only now you realise
That you have hidden depths to draw from
Where previously there were only shallow waters
It is the process of learning to trust
That you will not be submerged

And tentatively, ever so quietly, you acknowledge what is taking place
Your seldom used voice whispers
‘I think I’m getting the hang of this’
‘Maybe I’m back?’
Only for those
Who have been walking beside you unseen
To smile gently and reply
‘You’ve been here for a while now’
‘I was waiting for you to open your eyes and admire the view’

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