Childhood abuse dramatically changes the number of neurons in the brain. It can both increase and decrease their ability to communicate with one another.
The emotions rise uncontrollably in their old familiarity. Immediately the mind tries to investigate the cause. What is the answer at times like these?
Anxiety doesn’t show on the outside. The doctor noted my ‘full face of makeup’. But inside, I have been extremely poorly. And others are suffering quietly.
Why? There’s nothing I can pinpoint feeling panicked about. It occurs to me to check my heartbeat. Faster than normal. Is this panic physical or mental?