By Mia Elisabeth

At 22, I was diagnosed with a chronic mental illness. I had just suffered a psychotic break after receiving a work visa to another country. I moved over there and the illness got out of hand and the emotions of the illness were too much; there were also issues with harassment and bullying in my workplace.

At 23, I almost succeeded in killing myself…. I was afraid to talk about mental health - I thought my friends and family would abandon me. But after my suicide attempt, we all support each other.

Turned away from hospital

Although I warned a staff member at the hospital, I was turned away, desperate for relief and not wanting to continue living with so much pain . I took 160 pills of clonazepam with the hope it would kill me and I would get peace. I felt my life was worthless, I couldn’t talk about mental health: I thought that if my friends found out the truth they would hate me or think I am crazy and that my family couldn’t stand me. So what did I have left to lose, was my mentality.

I’m lucky to be alive

My roommate at the time found me and I was in ICU for 24 hours and hospital 4 days. I am very lucky to be alive and grateful I did not succeed. This was 2013, and now 4 years later I own a home and I’m back in school, studying social work. I started this blog to tell my story and write about mental illness. My own personal goal is make it less taboo and to be a helpful source to people in need. If you’re ever contemplating suicide, please, contact a loved one. Remember your feelings are only temporary: things do and will get better.

Now we talk about mental health openly

Oh I opened to all my close friends and family, they still loved me even with the diagnosis. In fact they themselves had a mental health issue too or family member with an issue. We just never talked about it, now that is changed and my close friends and I talk about mental health all the time! We support each other and we advocate for ourselves and others. I was completely wrong about how people would view this diagnosis, and can show how opening up may literally save your life.

Reproduced with permission, originally posted on sexyfearlessfierce

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