"Just like riding a bike, actually”
By Sara-Jane Morphew

This would be my quote of the day! I started my therapeutic duties in school today, returning to work: going into school for a short time to do something like reading or cooking, art or alike to test the water almost, to see if I can actually do it. And today actually it was just like riding a bike. I know, right, I never thought I would get to this point! Don’t get me wrong, there were some negative bits that I won’t write about to remain professional, but over all, yes it was a positive outcome.

Returning to work

I was a wreck this morning and last night to be fair. I didn’t sleep all that well going over what might happen today, all the ridiculous scenarios going around in my head. And this morning I left the house in a mess to get the boys to school on time because I was faffing about! I should be tidying it now, but I don’t really want to, I’d rather get this down. I did the school run fine. Henry was being a monkey. I’m hoping its chicken pox making him grumpy and not just a new personality trait of his.

I made sure I took some rescue remedy before the journey to school to give it a chance to work, which I think it did, I was more calm than usual. Rescue remedy is a miracle. It comes in many forms, and I like the drops. I stopped to take a few breaths before I got out of the car. I had my key, so could let myself in the gate, and in I went. Into the office for a chat and then off for a wander to see everyone, without disturbing learning of course. Later, a cup of tea and down to my job of listening to children read. It was lovely to speak to them all one to one and see how they are getting on. It was also lovely that they wanted to come and read with me and say hello. I thought they would have forgotten who I was.

I felt more confident afterwards

It was just like riding a bike. I could hear all the old phrases and tricks to help children decode words and improve their intonation coming out, and it was good to have a little giggle with them. I felt like “I’ve still got it, I can still do this!” It wasn’t noisy or disturbing or stressful. It was just nice to be useful. It’s a weird one but I felt together and strong coming out, not deflated and a useless shaky mess as usual. I think I can do this. I felt more able to deal with the negatives and, well, ignore them mostly and do what I do best, be me!!

There is still some work to be done to really build up my confidence to return to work on a permanent basis and I’m sure my counsellor will discover something on Friday when I come down from this high. But I am happy to say it is a positive day. Yoga later as well…bonus.

From Lala, with love xx


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