to-don't list
By Elli

The To-Don’t List: A list for anyone overwhelmed and stressed
For those of us who worry too much about what we cannot control
For the over-thinkers and the do-gooders
(A list for me)

The To-Don’t List

1. Don’t play it safe.

Wear the bright red lippy, the yellow dress, the dungarees you think make you look like an overgrown toddler. Clothes are for fun.

2. Don’t compare.

You are beautiful and your life is good. Count blessings, dance in the kitchen. Silence the voice of comparison, it will make your life smaller.

3. Don’t hide.

Let somebody in. The mask will become harder to remove the longer your wear it. Allow yourself to be supported if you need support. One day the friend you lean on now will come to you with their pain because you were honest.

4. Don’t spend time with people who drain your energy.

You are not obligated to fix or help everyone, especially those who repeatedly ask for and then ignore your advice. Vampires of the soul have no place at your table.

5. Don’t forget what you love.

Parenting and busyness can crowd out the knowledge of who you were before life got so full. Make a list. Take time to do the things that make you come alive. Read, dance, crochet, run, be a life model. Be whoever you are.

6. Don’t buy clothes in a smaller size in the hope you will slim into them.

Life is too short to be uncomfortable. Embrace every last inch of your wonderful body. Loving you is the most attractive thing you can do.

7. Don’t regret.

Firstly, whatever it is has already happened and secondly, one day it may well make a hilarious story, or useful cautionary tale.

8. Don’t berate yourself.

If you wouldn’t talk to your pet or friend with those words, don’t use them on yourself. You are too precious and deserve better.

9. Don’t ignore your mental health or your emotions.

Both deserve your attention and care. Both are trying to give you important information about the core of who you are.

10. Don’t eat smiley faces or dinosaur shapes for tea all the time.

You deserve good food on your favourite plate sometimes too.

11. Don’t be silent when it hurts.

Vulnerability might feel weird but it is far preferable to sliding further and further into the quicksand of despair. If you need help – ask.

12. Don’t put everyone else first.

It might seem like the easier option, to spend your days trying to please all the other people in your world while ignoring yourself. But it will plant a seed of bitterness and resentment that will grow to make your heart sour. You, and what you want, matter.

Every now and again, put down the to-do list and read this list of all the things you don’t have to do.

You got this.
Big love X

Reproduced with permission, originally published here. Elli at The Hippo Chronicles offers an e-mail series on 60 second meditation for when you are overwhelmed and Seven days of hope.


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