Death phobia. Death anxiety. Thanatophobia. Whatever you wanna call it, it is VERY, VERY real.
I don’t know how it started or where it came from. All I know is that it’s not something I’d wish on anyone.
There are simple phobias and complex phobias. If I had to put mine in one of those categories, it would definitely be filed under “complex phobia”. Simple phobias may become less severe over time, while complex phobias are said to be more disabling.
Death phobia – terror of an inevitable event
So what’s it like living with an extreme phobia of an inevitable event? In a word: miserable. Not only do you worry about your own death, you worry about those you love, too. When they go to work or a party, you worry if they don’t call when they arrive. You worry when they get home and forget to text you to let you know they’re okay. For me this is the worst part. The constant worrying, thinking, “Why isn’t this person answering?”, is enough to drive you crazy. Every day those thoughts creep back in. It’s the not knowing that I hate the most, because like so many things in life I have no control over it.
It’s an irrational phobia. I can’t change the outcome but it still fucks with my mind…maybe because I know that mentally there’s nothing I can do to change that fact.
It causes your heart to race. You get these “bad feeling” vibes and you want to call your friend or spouse to check on them. You cry because the worry is too much to deal with.
It’s not like a fear of lettuce or cats. Those things, you can stay away from. You can’t escape death. And that is the scariest part of it all.
Reproduced with permission, originally published here